Last week mt #tbt was about true love as we remembered Michael Vick marrying his longtime girlfriend Kijfa Fink.  Vick and Fink were living proof that true love can defy all odds.  Well this week, we see how true love is dead.

The year was 2008.  It was a little over six years that A-Rod and Cynthia Scurtis were married.  For those six years, poor Cynthia thought she was living a great life.  Money, fame, beautiful children and a faithful monster of a baseball player – Cynthia had won the lottery.

Ah but alas, all good things must come to an end.  It all (publicly) started in 2007 when A-Rod was seen walking around in Toronto with an exotic dancer named Joslyn Morse.  Now I’m not going to jump to any conclusions, but we all know what Canadian strip clubs are like* so they probably had a LOT of sex right on stage.

Trouble in paradise, it seemed.  On July 2nd, 2008 it came out that A-Rod and Cynthia were separating and having marital problems since the birth of their second daughter.  This must have come as a shock to the rest of the world.  The other thing this report did was solidify the report that A-Rod was having an affair with Madonna, which is hilarious.  A-Rod was 32 at the time and Madonna was 57.  A-Rod, for once in his life being smart, did have his wife Cynthia sign a prenup so he didn’t get completely hosed in the divorce.

A mere five days later on July 7th, Cynthia filed for divorce.  Then the rest of the details came out.  A-Rod had a call girl named Kirsten Davis (not to be confused with the hot Kristen Davis from Sex in the City and other RomComs) who is absolutely disgusting.  Apparently she was not only A-Rod’s call girl, but the two also had a relationship, which again is hilarious.

The rest, as they say, is history.  A-Rod went onto date a respectable list of women that included Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson and Torrie Wilson.  Currently he is alleged to be dating the former wife of Google CEO Anne Wojciki and let me tell you, compared to the other woman he has had relationships with, it’s a head scratcher because she’s about as plain as the come.

The real question here is why the hell did A-Rod get married to begin with? He was on track to be the best baseball player of all time, you know, until the whole steroid thing, and the best baseball player always gets to bang tons of chicks, man.  He could have publicly run train on every woman in New York if he never got married.  Instead he got hitched which most likely began a downward spiral into where A-Rod is now.  True love is dead.

Here are some of the women A-Rod has been with:

Cindy

Cynthia Scurits – Former wife.  I get a pretty MILF-y vibe from her.  Poor woman.

Joslyn

Joslyn Morse – The Canadian stripper.  Chick has got some freaking TONED arms.

Madonna

Madonna – Affair that broke A-Rod’s marriage.  Hilarious.

Kristin Davis Good

NOT the Kristen Davis that was A-Rod’s call girl.  If this had been the case, I would have given him respect.

Kristin Davis

THIS is the Kristen Davis that was A-Rod’s call girl.

Cameron

Cameron Diaz – I mean there was only one place to go from Bad Kristin Davis and that was up.

Kate

Kate Hudson – I was pretty pissed about this because I’m a BIG Kate Hudson guy

Anne W

Anne Wojciki – Probably one of the last people on the face of the Earth that one would predict A-Rod would date.

 

*I have never been to a strip club in Canada.

 

 

@WhatAKetchWCS