Lindsey Vonn was clearly the MVP of the red carpet at the Espy’s last night.
First off she showed up looking like this:
SHE ABSOLUTELY DRIPPED SEX. To the point that all of America couldn’t handle themselves and twitter exploded about how amazing she looked. Then, just to top it off she goes and does this little number with her new arm candy JJ Watt:
Hysterical. Who knew that Lindsey Vonn could be funny and would drop sexual innuendos like this without a care? Who knew that she would be that lovable and would gauge the reaction on social media that she did last night?
I’ll tell you who…. Tiger effin’ Woods, the greatest golfer of all time.
He knows first-hand the excellence that is Lindsey Vonn, considering they dated for three years. But that doesn’t matter now. She went up there and threw her new boy and her FANTASTIC body all in Tigers face, without a care in the world.
Tiger needs a way to bounce back after suffering something traumatic like this, and that’s where I come in. Have no fear Tiger, I have some FOOL PROOF options for how you can come out on top in this situation:
- Have JJ Watt “taken care of.” – I’m not saying he does it himself, cause that wouldn’t work. I’m just saying Tiger has to know a guy.
- Start dating an outrageously hot woman who America already loves more than they could ever lover Lindsey Vonn. My pick? Jennifer Aniston. You’re Tiger Woods. You can make that happen.
- Release a sex tape of him and Lindsey Vonn. – Famous people always make sex tapes, so they definitely have one; and it worked for Ray J (who hit it first), so it has to work for Tiger.
Tiger does any of these, and he’ll be right back on track. Hell, he may even win another major, who knows? (Definitely not)
Until then #PrayForTiger