In an absolutely shocking start to the episode, JoJo actually does send Luke home.  I think all of America gasped when JoJo said “Chase” while holding the Final Rose.  Luke’s hometown was the best date and yet JoJo felt she had to send him home.  Why?  He was a Texan, those kisses were so passionate, he was great for her, Luke had it all.  But somehow, someway, Luke went home.  Poor fella was shocked.  That’s alright though as it looks like he’s got a one way ticket to be the Bachelor.2016-08-01

So that left us with Jordan Rodgers, Robby and Chase.  I, for one do not have any clue how Robby has made it this far.  People have been saying the same about Chase, but at least he’s not gay.  Many rip on Chase’s lack of personality, but people forget that in like the second episode he planned a little snow shower thing for JoJo during a cocktail party.  I think that laid a solid foundation for Chase to make a deep run.

Robby on the other hand, seemingly out of nowhere started talking about how he and JoJo had this wonderful, solid and lustful relationship, but there was no video evidence of her even speaking to him.  Where did this come from?  The only thing I will say about Robby is that he said “you have to believe you’re a front runner to be a front runner” and to his credit, he’s had that swag which may have tricked JoJo into going with him.  But anyways Robby was leading off in the Fantasy Suite.2016-08-01 (1)

The two had a lovely day in Thailand.  There were two things that stood out about Robby’s day.  The first is that he kept referring to JoJo as “Joelle.”  Such a fucking squid move.  He’s doing this because he thinks it makes him feel more intimate with her.  Like “oh Jordan and Chase call her JoJo?  We she’s Joelle to me.”  Fuck outta my face with that shit, Robby.

After that, it was a pretty boring day in reality, until Robby showed JoJo a letter his “dad” wrote.  This letter, allegedly from Robby’s dad, told Robby that he could really see how much he loved JoJo among other shit.  I have two theories on this, and neither theory involves Robby’s dad actually writing the note.  The first theory is  that Robby straight up wrote the note.  He is insecure about the whole ex-girlfriend thing so he felt he had to do something to prove to JoJo that he was “in love” with JoJo.  2016-08-01 (3)

The second theory is that Robby paid Harrison to write the note.  The hand writing to this note is strikingly similar to the hand writing in the fantasy suite notes.  Just saying.  Point is, either way Robby’s dad did not fucking write that note and if JoJo picks Robby, their relationship will be built off a lie.

Anyways, the morning after, JoJo said “OMG this is like totally our first breakfast together!”2016-08-01 (6)

Next up was Jordan Rodgers.  Obviously a strong date with him.  Nothing really too out of the ordinary other than her asking Jordan where he was going to be in a year and he said “I don’t know.”  I would assume he’s going to be in Atlanta or where ever the hell the SEC network is based out of since he is working as an analyst there, but who the hell knows.  Regardless, despite not really getting a straight answer, JoJo gave Jordan the Fantasy Suite card and got plowed again.2016-08-01 (9)

Then the next morning JoJo said “OMG this is like totally our first breakfast together!”  Where have we heard that before?2016-08-01 (10)

Batting third was Chase, who came out of the gate HOT.  He wanted that sex bad.  Chase was playful, fun, outgoing and was loose.  Chase was playing loose, almost with a “nothing to lose” attitude.  It was like he knew he was the underdog going into the date and decided to just go all out.  Chase came out with the full court press and was kissing fish and shit.  Everything was going Chase’s way.

Then out of nowhere, fucking Robby shows up.  What the hell gives you the right, Robby?  Who do you think you are?  Such a dickhead, scumbag, desperate move.  2016-08-01 (11)

Despite this though, Chase easily got the Fantasy Suite card, but then…then something went terribly wrong.  Chase told JoJo that he loved her.  And JoJo did not reciprocate.  2016-08-01 (15)

Chase kind of told her off, which, good for him honestly.  He was all like “I just want to have sex why did you give me the fantasy suite card if you were going to not have sex with me what the fuck?”  JoJo felt bad.2016-08-01 (17)

Then Chase vaulted to legendary status as he took his walk of shame to the limo, cracked a beer and said “oh is this my fantasy suite?”  I loved it.  Chase you dog, you are a legend.

He did eventually come back and apologize for his behavior, but still it was awesome.

So that leaves Jordan and Robby.  Honestly, I know the favorite is Jordan, but I think I’m going to pick Robby to win.  JoJo has been so unpredictable this season.  I mean fucking Evan made it to like the final 12.  Who saw that coming?  Luke didn’t even make it to the Fantasy Suites.  When we zig, JoJo zags.  So yeah, I’m taking Robby.  And no, they won’t make it.

The Men Tell All

Usually I do “Winners and Losers of Men Tell All,” but I have to say this episode wasn’t quite as electric as I had hoped for.  Chad was the winner.  Everyone else lost.  Except Luke and Chase.  But Chad won.

Three hours tonight and then two more tomorrow with Bachelor in Paradise.  It’s going to be LIT!