If you don’t know who Kassidy Cook is, get to know her. She’s the American diving babe that’s pretty good. So naturally, when I was introduced to Kassidy, I immediately looked up her Instagram and Wikipedia page, you know just to see if was taken or still looking for a large 26 year old that’s trying to make a baseball comeback as a knuckleballer.
Fortunately for me, it looks like she’s single. But look at what her personal section says:
So let’s break down Kassidy Cook’s personal section, shall we? Sentence one says she’s been romantically linked to this guy:
Okay. Then sentence two is about this Tom Daley character and how he says “Nah son we ain’t dating, I like dudes.” Nothing about Kassidy, just about how Tom is gay. (Sidenote: Tom Daley better be gay if he’s denying a relationship with Kassidy Cook)
So going into sentence three, one would assume that maybe it would say like “Kassidy is currently dating Ketch from Water Cooler Sports” or “Kassidy has 5 siblings who all dive” or something about Kassidy Cook. But instead it says:
“He prefers men and only sees other women as friends.”
Oh, okay. Thank’s for breaking that down for me. I didn’t understand what being gay meant. So 2/3 of Kassidy Cook’s personal section are about Tom Daley being gay. And hey, how about using our big boy pants and throwing in a complex sentence every now and then? Maybe say “Tom Daley denied the relationship because he said he is gay and therefore prefers men.”
Now I know you’re saying “Ketch, it’s Wikipedia, just edit it you moron” but here’s what you don’t know: In college I went through a phase where I kept editing Stromile Swift’s Wikipedia page to say that he was dead and I haven’t been able to edit anything on Wikipedia since. So this is my call to you, to help Kassidy out and make her personal page more, shall we say, personal. Don’t do it for me, do it for her:
Also she competes at 2:30 today so be sure to tune in.