I need to start this blog off by saying something so that you don’t get irrationally pissed off: This is not an “ode” to Obama. I don’t “do” politics. If you want to know what I think of Obama’s terms, here’s what I think: some of the stuff he did I liked, some of the stuff he did I didn’t like. But again, I am not passionate about politics. At all.
Eight long ass years for Barack Obama in office. Eight years of “Thanks, Obama.” Eight years of questioning his “true” nationality. Eight years of accusations of racial favoritism. Eight years of accusations of not being serious enough as the president. Eight years, down to two tiny months.
There’s a few really great feelings people have in this world. Sex is definitely one of them. Pissing when you really have to go to the point where your body is trembling is certainly up there. Canceling plans, also high in the ranks. Nailing a parallel park with people watching always gets me going too. However I think that all may pale in comparison to the feeling of leaving the White House for the final time as the President of the United States.
I don’t care who you are or how good or bad you were at your job, when you’re the leader of the Free World, it’s got to fucking suck. And if you’re the first black leader of the Free World whose name is Barack Hussein Obama, it’s really got to suck. So just the fact that Barry is leaving the White House has to been an amazing feeling for him. But what makes it better for him is who is going to replace him. One of those two idiots is going to be our president. Our country is going to be in the hands of Donald Trump of Hillary Clinton and Obama has got to be smiling. You know what? Not even smiling. I bet Obama is getting off to this shit.
Obama, the aging quarterback who had a mediocre career is ready to hand the team over to the back up. Don’t get it twisted, this is NOT Brett Favre handing the Packers to Aaron Rodgers. It’s definitely not Bledsoe being forced to step aside for Brady. This is more like Eric Zeier coming in for Vinny Testaverde for the Ravens in ‘97. Testaverde did a lot of things to piss Ravens fans off, but you know what? Once he’s out of the game, all of the hate and anger goes at the new starter, Zeier. That’s what happened with Bush and that’s what’ll happen with Obama.
Sure people will be pissed about what Obama did in office, but when one of these two candidates inevitably fucks something up, breaks a promise or starts a world war, whether Obama admits it or not, it’s going to feel great not being the one getting bitched at by an entire nation. So you know what, Barack? On January 20th, when Trump or Clinton is officially inaugurated into office and you’re done, go on a fucking three month bender. Drink tons of bourbon (he strikes me as a bourbon guy), smoke tons of cigars and maybe even dabble into some illegal drugs with Malia and just enjoy the fact that you somehow survived the last eight years and never have to do anything like that again.