While this story seems to be the shit that would take place 2,569 miles northeast at the Ralph, a certain Chargers legend security guard has come under fire recently after some Russian spy random fan recorded him clearly jacking off performing what appears to be a sexual act on himself.

See for yourself:

While it may appear what he is doing is obvious, I have some excuses I’d like to offer this ALLEGED public offender in what should now be dubbed “Jerk-gate”…

 

“Hey, I wasn’t jerking off, I had a shake weight in my pocket.

Honestly, I bet you can make anything look like anything if you take it out of context.

When they’re dressed like that can you blame me?

Boys will be boys?

Whaaaaat?! I had an itch.

 

Seriously though, can we take a minute and ask what kind of psycho used his opposite hand to steady his jerking hand? Like, what is that move? Was he trying to pretend he was at attention? If anything it brought MORE attention to the fact that this maniac is jacking off in front of an NFL crowd.

All in all, this is some pretty wild stuff.

Regardless, San Diego looking to rival Buffalo in the battle of “Teams That Want To Be Good But Will Continue To Be Average Forever Team Whose Fans Are Maniacs” and this gives them a nice boost in that conversation.

anchorman stay classy you stay classy stay classy san diego you stay classy san diego

 

 

Not Judging – Just Observing,
@WCS_Taylor