Last year the St. Louis Rams moved back to LA, the San Diego Chargers just became the LA Chargers, and the Raiders just officially filed their paperwork to move to Las Vegas. So I’ll just go ahead and let you all in on a little secret. The next move for an NFL team… The New York Jets.
Where will they be moving, you ask? Simple– London, England.
The NFL has been slowly but steadily dropping little hints that they would, one day, like to put a team in London. They already do multiple games there every year as a type of foreplay to get the woman (that is England) all hot and bothered, begging for the NFL to get it on with them! What a better way to reignite the slightly struggling and, at least stagnate, NFL audience, then to tap into a whole new country with a team, albeit the Jets, to pledge their allegiance to.
So the question that these NFL owners were probably asking each other was: how the hell do we decide who has to move to London? They were probably planning on having a rock, paper, scissors tournament. Or maybe they were just going to tell the Bills to move with the backing of the logic that, “Hey, at least it’s not Buffalo!” But none of this was necessary. None of this was necessary because the United States of America elected Donald J. Trump the President of the United States!
“But Big Fudge, what does that have to do with anything?!” Well, my friends, Donald J. Trump just named the owner of the Jets, Woody Johnson, as the Ambassador to the United Kingdom! What are the chances of that?! It is just too easy for the NFL sometimes. The UK is a pretty big place but don’t worry, The US embassy to the UK is located in London. If you ask me, that means this is all just a matter of time!
I think we all know who the biggest winner in all of this is… Clearly it’s ME! Me and all other Jets fans in New York. I am sadly a fan of the New York Jets BUT I sure as hell am NOT a fan of the London Jets! It’s an amazing cop-out for me and all other Jets who have really bad and dark thoughts every Sunday during the NFL season. Who is my next team going to be? Not even I know the answer to that question, but I have a few in mind…
The losers of this all? Obviously the people of London. Guys, I’m seriously sorry… seriously.