Sometimes when you go grocery shopping and you’re hungry AF you buy EVERYTHING. There isn’t a single “bad purchase” you could make.

A nice salty bag of pretzel rods? Haven’t had those in 3 months, but HELL YEA I’m feeling it.

A 4-pound bag of Reese’s pieces for $9?! Wow, that’s a STEAL!!

OH. MY. GOD… Doritos has a new Barbecue Ranchero* flavor?!?!

dirty love

Well, that was the 2016 off-season for our New York Giants. We were hungry, we came home with everything we needed – and I know I have no regrets.

This off-season might be a little different. This off-season we couldn’t even pay for the basics like salsa, as today we had to say goodbye to Victor Cruz.

And while for sure I’ll be sad at home watching the Giants without salsa this year, it is truly something we can live without… And arguably we’re not even talking about GREAT salsa anymore. At this point, we’re talking about salsa that we’d probably be buying KNOWING full well it is past its expiration date. Maybe it’s store brand trash salsa that we convince ourselves it’s worth it to save that $0.40 instead of going top-shelf with some Tostito’s… Maybe… Maybe not though.

I think we made the right call. Maybe opting out of salsa will make us expand our palate and find out that we actually enjoy some french onion dip that’s on sale… WHO KNOWS?!

The point here is that last year we were hungry, spent like wild and lived like kings… And while we’re not poor this year by any means, it is time to reel it in and live life on a bit more more a budget.

Goodbye my beautiful salsa. Life will be different without you, but I treasured what we had together.



Hungry for Salsa Now,





P.S. Also, Rashard Jennings got released today. If he was a food it would be like a bagged salad kit… Sure he was good for you and all, but unless you built a meal around him to be the accessory to, will you really miss him?


P.P.S I realize my Rashard Jennings analogy might be difficult to understand… He needed a fucking offensive line. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t perform. We need to address that issue. Get us a nice “Porterhouse steak & baked potato” offensive line.




*= Doritos, to my knowledge, does not have a “Barbecue Rancheros” flavor… though if they do come up with one, I want credit for the naming rights as you all just saw – I came up with it here first. They sound amazing and I’d buy it FOR SURE. The name alone drops panties sells.