As some of you may have seen on the Water Cooler Sports snapchat (sc: w-csports) over the weekend, “someone” tried smashing a beer on their head in order to shotgun it. Apparently, the kids are calling this act a “rumple.” Who knew. Anyways, the person in the video tried smashing it, and failed until they ultimately said “it hurts.”
Now I’m not saying I was that person in the video, but I’m not saying I wasn’t either. Whatever it may be, the person in the video was very brave to try this feat. Clearly, this handsome man was trying to relive his glory days in college. When he was in college, people didn’t do that. People weren’t smashing beer cans on their head. Different times, I suppose. So for this courageous gentleman to go out on a limb and attempt to reconnect with the younger generation, I stand and applaud him.
Okay so it was me. For the last year and a half, I’ve been watching videos and vines of people smashing beers on their heads and jumping through tables. Well this past weekend, my good friend and fellow WCS writer Slick Willy was in town. Slick Willy is my pipeline to what’s hot in the streets so I started picking his brain about the happenings of the college campus. Eventually, about 13 beers later I asked him about the “rumples.” He explained it to me and even showed me a video of him doing it, quite impressive I must say. My eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning and I immediately thought “I can do that.”
Slick Willy told me the key was to not think about it and just hit your head as hard as you can. So I went into my basement (didn’t want to spill beer/blood in the living room obviously), stripped my shirt off and was ready to go. I swear to God I hit that thing as hard as I could off my head and it even began to squirt. I thought I had it, but alas, the hole just wasn’t big enough. I hit it again, and again and again until finally, the adrenaline of had worn off and turned into pain. I had failed.
About ten minutes later, Slick Willy told me that I should have shook the can before I did it, which is apparently a pretty important part of the rumple practice. Hearing this, I thought “oh shit if I had shook the can, I would have done it last time” and I demanded to try again. Needless to say, I was pretty gun shy from the previous attempt and after two hits onto my forehead gracefully bowed out.
Apparently on that night, I was too old for that shit. Life comes at you fast everyone. Let this be a lesson to you, don’t take anything for granted. Before you know it, you’ll be 27 years old smashing beer cans on your forehead as hard as you can as your friend films it and sends it to everyone you know.
HOWEVA I stand by the statement that if I had shook the can the first time, I would have done it. In fact, I am now making this my goal. By the end of the year, I will successfully rumple. Mark my words. Ketch is back baby.
PS – Unrelated but apparently we are covering cross country skiing now here at Water Cooler Sports. Wild stuff.