This is always my favorite blog to write of The Bachelor/ette season – the winners and losers of the Women Tell All.  Who came back hitting triple digits?  Who changed their hair color?  Who is over Nick?  Who isn’t over Nick?  Who will be the girl nobody heard speak but won’t shut up?  So many great story lines this year and it all came together in a two hour circus of a show.

It really was a circus too.  The whole Taylor vs Corinne thing was really intense.  I mean none of their animosity for each other on the show was just for the show.  Those two girls genuinely do not like each other.  There is actual hatred there and that became glaringly evident at the WTA.  It was so intense that each girl had their chance in the hot seat so that we could waste enjoy an hour of our life literally watching the same thing on repeat.  But anyways, here’s the winners and losers:

Winner: Corinne2017-03-12 (7)This whole season has been a comeback trail for Corinne.  She took a few tough L’s early in the year, but you knew the talent was there.  I mean people HATED her over the first few episodes.  Next thing you know she’s in the Final Four and got one of the biggest ovations from the fans.  Say what you will about Corinne, but her skin is as thick as a Redwood and refusing to apologize when Harrison was prodding her was one of the biggest power moves I’ve ever seen, and not just in this show.

Winner: Liz2017-03-12 (5)Pretty interesting to hear Liz talk and really interesting to see the other girl’s opinion of her.  Apparently all of the girls loved Liz.  I was shocked to find this out.  I mean I never hated Liz because she’s hot and she had a hilarious story line attached to her (she had sex with Nick at Jade and Tanner’s wedding, if you didn’t know), but a lot of people were calling for her head.  I still don’t really get why she came on the show if she had ample opportunities to find Nick herself, but hey whatever YOLO right?  Liz was also easily one of the most hammered ones there which was crystal clear when she was sobbing during Kristina’s story.

Biggest Loser: Taylor2017-03-12 (4)Taylor got put in a body bag this episode.  I don’t even know if what Corinne was saying was true, but literally everything Taylor said, Corinne had a point refuting her.  It was so impressive to me.  It also came out that just about everyone else one the show hated Taylor as well.  Her stock plummeted from the poor girl that was bullied by the big meanie in Corinne, to the stuck up, arrogant snob who cried wolf.  And coward move of the century accepting Corinne’s cheese pasta.  2017-03-12 (11)If she had any balls she would have not accepted it or dumped it out.  I have officially no respect for Taylor.

Loser: Hailey2017-03-12 (6)Nothing she said, but she just doesn’t look healthy.  I don’t know when they showed her I was like “oooo is that Hailey?  She doesn’t look healthy.”

Loser: Josephine2017-03-12 (2)Now I’m not a girl, but how do you do that to your face, look in the mirror before you leave your house and say “yeah, that’s the look I’m going for.”  How?  Honestly, I gasped when I saw her.

And who fucking knew that Josephine was Corinne’s bottom bitch?  She had Corinne’s back the whole episode.  On the positive side for Josephine, she did have an eyeroll for the ages during Taylor’s montage.

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2017-03/7/14/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane-01/anigif_sub-buzz-14496-1488916778-2.gif

Winner: Alexis

Everybody loves Alexis.  I imagine her and Liz were just ripping shots back stage because she was clearly smashed.  Good for Alexis.

Loser: Whitney2017-03-12 (1)I’ve always liked Whitney.  She had a great line when she said to Taylor and Corinne “I think you’re both condescending in you’re own way…”  That was really funny.  BUT she’s a loser because every single time she talked, she got cut off.  I get what she was trying to do.  She probably saw everyone saying “oh who is this Whitney girl?” on twitter every time she got a rose and tried to make it her mission to speak up at the Women Tell All.  But she made her bed as the quiet one so when she talked, none of the other girls listened, they just talked louder and disregarded anything she said.  I have a feeling we’ll be seeing Whitney in Paradise though.

Winner: Kristina2017-03-12 (12)I may be alone in thinking this, but Kristina strikes me as the type of person that really doesn’t want to be given a standing ovation for her story.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a very nice gesture of everyone, but to me (since I know her so well) she’s like the conjoined fetus lady from South Park.  Like yes, it’s something different and unique that she has had to live with, but she doesn’t want the bells and whistles.

Or maybe it was nice that she was recognized for her courage.  I don’t know.

Loser: Danielle L2017-03-12 (13)You all know how much it pains me to say she was a loser in this episode.  She looked ravishing as expected and she just sat still and looked pretty during the four hours of Taylor and Corinne yelling at each other which I found humorous.  But man, when Nick came out, such a bad look for my girl.  Breaking down and sobbing in front of that asshole is exactly what he wants.  That’s what that weirdo gets off on.  She had every right to go in heavy on him and rip his ass, but the crying gave him the power.

And for people on Twitter saying “oh this girl has just got to get over it (rolling eyes emoji)”  Uhhh “THIS GIRL” is not just some random girl he sent home night one.  She got done so dirty by that dickhead.  He tells her she immediately was someone he thought could win.  He gives her a one on one in his hometown.  He gives her a group date rose.  Then out of NOWHERE he puts her on a two on one, sends the other girl home, tells Danielle L how much he likes her and then SENDS HER HOME.  Fuck you, Nick and fuck you anyone who is hating on Danielle L.

Winner: Luke PellLuke

So if you haven’t heard, Luke and Danielle L are seeing each other.  Those babies are going to be so hot.

Loser: Harrison2017-03-12 (10)I’ve been way more Pro-Harrison than I have been lately.  I actually think he does a great job on these Tell All shows and asks great questions that get the juices flowing.  But Taylor and Corinne were arguing about a specific scene during their two on one and Harrison had the power to go the the tape to see who was actually right and he didn’t.  Just a bitch move there.

Loser: Nick

Nick

Nick is a loser.  He got smoked by Kristina.  He weirdly got off on Danielle L’s tears like Dennis from Sunny.

And we find out Luke is now dating one of his exes.  Rough week for Nick.  Rough time to be Nick.  And, he’s just so weird.

Winner: African Americans2017-03-12 (15)You literally couldn’t find a more likable person to be the first black Bachelor or Bachelorette.  I’m happy for the black community for this W.

And there you go.  As far as the Rose Bowl preview, at this point I don’t care who wins.  The fact that both of these women are still into Nick tells me that there is something wrong with them.  Raven got exploited for being weird last episode and I don’t know something about Vanessa and her constant crying just bugs me.  If I had to guess, he’ll probably take Vanessa because she has bigger cans and Nick is a boob guy.

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