Link to story from NY Daily News

Fucking Brazil, man.  Just can’t stay out of the fucked up spotlight for too long.  They had their five weeks over the summer during the Olympics, and since then we haven’t really heard from Brazil.  But here we are.  Damn, Brazil, back at it again with the completely fucked up stories!

Now it’s Bruno Fernandes de Souza who murdered his girlfriend and fed her to dogs getting signed to the soccer team Boa Esporte.  So here’s a little rundown of our boy Bruno Fernandes de Souza and what he’s been up to over the past decade:

  • Before all of this, he kidnapped his girlfriend to try and convince her to terminate her pregnancy so he went to jail
  • In 2010-ish, his ex-girlfriend at the time was suing him for not supporting their child
  • He ordered the girlfriend to be murdered
  • He fed the girlfriend’s murdered body to dogs in an attempt to get rid of the evidence
  • He was sentenced to 22 year in prison
  • He got out after 7 years because the court failed to rule on his appeal

Couple things here.  First is how was the conviction only 22 years?  This seems like a pretty gruesome crime.  It may be necessary to go ahead and give him longer than 22 years in jail for this one.  I’m not a lawyer or judge or anything, but this, uh, this seems like quite the crime.

So one answer to that question is that apparently nobody can be held in a Brazil prison for more than 30 years.  This seems problematic to me considering there are A LOT of murders in Brazil.  Again, not a lawmaker, but maybe, just maybe if you went ahead and made murder convictions a bit more severe and upped the sentencing to oh I don’t know more than 30 fucking years, then there might be less murder going on in your country.  Just a thought.

And one more thing on the Brazilian justice system:  So if I’m reading this correctly, he appealed his 22 year sentence and the court just forgot to rule on it so he got out?  Is that right?  Please tell me that’s not right.

Anyways back to Bruno getting signed by Boa Esporte.  Bold move.  I’m a big second chance guy as well, just like Brent Musburger

but I’m going to draw the line on murdering a human and feeding their body to a dog.  That is one thing I don’t think I can look past.  I’m actually pretty confident that Musburger would agree with me.

This Bruno guy can’t even be that good.  He was playing for a second tier team before this whole thing happened.  I mean there’s definitely a scale of fucked up to good.  If you stay on the north side of that line, you can play.  If you’re south of it, you can’t play.  Please look at Figure 1:

Fig 1

As you can see, Bruno is way more fucked up than he is good.  This guy should be locked up.

Finally I’d like to point out two new shocking things in this article:

  1. Boa Esporte is losing sponsors.  NO WAY!
  2. Bruno was quoted saying “people run from me because of what happened in the past.”  Uhhhhhh no shit, Bruno.  You think people are going to feel bad for you because you were in jail for the last seven years?  I mean maybe if you had just murdered the girlfriend people would be a little less intimidated by you, but the fact that you fed her to the dogs, that changes everything.  You go from frustrated boyfriend who is a bad person to completely fucked up, evil, and deranged human.  I know I wouldn’t be too keen on having that type of guy in my locker room.