Seven BeerFests went by and I hadn’t been in attendance for one of them.

I loved walking up to the Columbus attic, my old stomping grounds and seeing all the kegs, tables, and my Water Cooler Sports playlist banging in the background (great job Pres). Back in my college days and prime baseball playing days, we were never around for BeerFest weekend, because we always had games to play. Tragic.

Two years after graduation, I finally got picked up in the 3rd round of the supplemental draft by team Canada – the defending champs. Now, as most of you know for the last six months I’ve been in Australia and as you can imagine, the beer is a little different. Not in terms of taste, but alcohol by volume. I think the absolute lowest I had was 4.8%. Most were around 5%, and some 6’s if you got real ballzy. So when I come back to the states and taste the cool, refreshing, Diet Natural on my lips… 1) I got erect, and 2) it tasted smooth and almost had the same drink-ability as Hawaiian Punch.

Anyway, being the 3rd round draft pick, it put a lot of weight on my shoulders to perform and I’d like to think I’m pretty confident in my drinking abilities, so this was about to be a walk in the park.

Here’s my recap of Water Cooler Sports’ first sponsored event.

Round 1: Anchorman vs Chile (Best of 3)

The boys from the Great White North square up against Austin “Sweet Lew” Lewis, Swimmer Dan and two no names. You can’t get more of a “#1 vs #16 seed” if you tried. The one girl on their team had to ask how to even play the game. I knew we had this easy.

Game 1 starts and we get hottttt. Sean banged 6 in a row to start, Stephane hit maybe 2 then Tucker hit 1 or 2, then I came up as the fourth… Mind you I haven’t played quarters since college so I wasn’t too sure how it was gonna go… Don’t worry, banged 10 or something in a row to get to 21 then banged the pitcher on the first bounce. Final Score: 21-13. The Canadians are rolling.

Game 2 starts and it absolutely goes to shit. We couldn’t hit a cup if they were a passenger for United Airlines and we were an employee. I’m talking cold as ice. But still, we were in it. I remember at one point it being tied 13-13 and the girl on Chile (the one that has apparently never played before) sunk about 7 or 8 in a row, then missed the pitcher. But then Sweet Lew buried it. Game over. Score: 21-16 Chile. I was shocked. And no offense if you’re reading this Chile girl, but whooooooo the fuckkkkkkk are you!? You hustled us like no other. Shame on you.

The final game kicks off and it’s neck and neck all game. 17-17, 18-18 all the way till it was 20-20. Controversial call from the ref at the end (Frank) where we made our 21st bounce while Chile’s quarter was rolling off the table? Gonna have to call in to New York and get the official replay on that because I think that was a blown call. Made us have to stop and reshoot, and of course we couldn’t bury it. My shot at the pitcher literalllllllly sat on the edge and rolled off. Woulda won the game. Remember in the ’04 Masters when Tiger sank that unbelievable putt where the ball almost froze in time, then went in? It was that, but this time the ball didn’t roll in. Thus, we lose Game 3 to Chile and get knocked out to the loser bracket. Noooooot where we wanna be.

Loser Bracket Round 1: Anchorman vs Brazil (Best of 3)

First of all, knew none of these dweebs (like I stated before, no offense if you’re reading this – I’m still a little salty about it). They absolutely smoked us in two games. “Two & out” go the defending champs. I was embarrassed, flustered, I don’t even know the emotions. Stephane sucked and so did Tucker. Maybe averaged 0.8 quarters/turn. Can’t have two guys look disabled out there and have two guys carrying the team. Anchorman doesn’t work like that. Nonetheless, we were disappointed but hey, we drank a lot of beers and had a good time.

So that was my BeerFest VIII experience, congrats to Spice, Jimbo, and the winning team of Byzantine Empire. Well deserved. Sad that this was my only BeerFest, but boy I’ve heard stories of 8 great years.

Be on the lookout tomorrow for this week’s playlist from your Boy RD. Got some phenomenal jams for you guys to take you into the Easter weekend. See you tomorrow.



Oh Canada… Our Home and Native Land,