Feliz Cinco de Mayo usted Bad Hombres. Inicialmente, iba a escribro todo este articulo en espanol, pero eso es imposible. Pero, le dare la apertura en el idioma de Chicharito. En la parte superior de la tabla ambos lideres deben ganar tres puntos. Espero que las grandes batallas esten en el cuarto lugar. Estos juegos finales podrian ser enormes para #WengerIn.
Sparknotes: Arsenal v. Man U game of the week. Big Fudge get moist on Saturday, Monday I skip work.
West Ham v. Tottenham
London Stadium, 3:00pm
Another London Derby, but Sp*rs will have a field day. Harry Kane will score a lame goal. The youth will run wild and West Ham will get frustrated. 2-0 Sp*rs.
Man City v. Crystal Palace
Etihad Stadium, 7:30am
UPSET SPECIAL!!! Palace has lock down defense and plays incredibly well against amazing teams (ex: Chelsea). It is an early game so Fudge will be asleep and miss it, but I’m sure he’ll pretend he saw it. 1-0 Palace.
Bournemouth v. Stoke City
Dean Court, 10:00am
Bournemouth pulls it off. This game marks the end of Stoke, they will lose 3 big name players during the summer due to this terrible season. 2-1 Bournemouth..
Hull City v. Sunderland
KCOM Stadium, 10:00am
Brutal game, really truly terrible. David Moyes has successfully destroyed Sunderland and they will be sent down. This will be as interesting as paint drying. 1-1.
Burnley v. West Brom
Turf Moor, 10:00am
Fun Fact: West Brom is the highest team on the table with a negative goal differential -4. This week they should be able to whittle that down a bit. 1-0 West Brom.
Leicester v. Watford
King Power, 10:00am
Leicester gives me a headache (kinda like the headache I get because I’m outta coffee at the moment). A draw with Palace last week was predictable. They scored 2 goals as well so I’ll tip them this week as well. 1-0 Leicester.
Swansea v. Everton
I really want Swansea to stay up in the league but they will get smoked this week. Everton will be quite angry after getting destroyed by the mighty Chelsea. 3-0 Everton.
Liverpool v. Southampton
Liverpool currently is sitting on 69 points. If they plan on sitting in third they need to win BIG. They only have one goal ahead of City (goal differential). I have a hunch this will be significant in a few weeks. 2-0 Liverpool.
Arsenal v. Man U
Great match with just the names of these two teams. Man U currently has the worst unbeaten run ever. They tie like going out of style, brutal to watch. Arsenal is much better and got shit on by Spurs last week. 3-2 Gunners.
Chelsea v. Middlesbrough
Stamford Bridge, 3:00pm
Yea, get excited. I’ll be clocking out of the office a little early in full Blue glory. Middlesbrough is in 19th place. This is exactly the team I want to be playing at the moment. 9000-0 Chelsea.
Happy Cinco de Drinko,