To too much of the population, the perception of the Jersey Shore is a bunch of meatheads fighting, dancing, blacking out and yelling… And it’s all thanks to MTV’s Jersey Shore back now like 10 years ago.

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I mean, Jesus! Just LOOK at that crew. It was a bunch of sweaty, loud, roided-out idiot dudes and a bunch of annoying, loud (again), obnoxious chicks. They partied hard, screwed around – I mean it made for GREAT television, but it definitely made the “Jersey Shore” a different thing than what most of it really is.

So when I used to tell people I was a lifeguard on the shore, they looked at me like a nutjob… Why the hell would you want to subject yourself to hanging around Snooki’s?!

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Well, Long Beach Island is one of the greatest places on earth. I always said if I can own two places on the planet – one is a hunting cabin in the woods of like Montana (yeah, I’m a little weird, WHATEVER) and the other is a beach house, preferably on LBI…. Why?

Well, I spent 5 years (one before & one after college) down there lifeguarding. It was great. Sun, waves and scoping out the talent all day, and parties at night. For a college age kid, LBI was an absolute dream.  The beaches are clean and not too crowded, and if you wanted to find your own fun it was always there.

But here’s the thing: that club partying bullshit on the “Jersey Shore” TV show is NOT the scene on LBI. In Seaside, maybe – but not on LBI.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, there’s places to go, but there’s no way the logistics work here. I know for a fact the town they’re supposedly renting in (“Loveladies”), and it’s kinda far from any clubs and certainly not walking distance. So they’re going to drive 20 minutes every night to and from clubs every night in order to get content for the show? And on an island where transportation is a bitch to get? I don’t think so!

Also, unless they are banking on the entire show being like teenage drama (like The Hills or something) and have almost 24/7 scenes of these kids on a beach all day just talking about how they’re all “in love” and “don’t know what to do” – I don’t know what they’re going to show… it’s a good life to live, I’m not sure it’s a good life to watch.

Also, the residents already are HATING the idea that there is any connection to the infamous “Jersey Shore” stigma that the show brought, so I’m positive their leash is going to be VERY short… I guarantee the first night they have a party, the neighbors are going to BITCH and why not?! They pay $4 million for a house down that way, they’re not going to want their quiet shore town overrun by idiots.

I don’t know. I’m a traditionalist and I don’t want that island to go south. It’s just… Fuck that “Jersey Shore” show!



I Don’t Pump Gas or My Fists,