Tis the season for blue skies, beers and Major League Baseball. I’ve been to my fair share of games this year but NONE thus far as epic as the Phillies game I attended last Saturday (apologies for this being a week late… but I think you’ll enjoy it).

As many of you probably don’t know, the “Pat Burrell/Jimmy Rollins/Chase Utley/Jamie Moyer/Shane Victorino Phillies” of about ten years ago arguably was my favorite team of all time. So I was fired up for this game REGARDLESS of who they were playing.

Now, the Diamondbacks happened to be in town and as we ALL know, the D’Backs & Phillies are just a premier matchup between two thoroughbreds… JUST FUCKING KIDDING – the D’Backs are legit, but the Phils are just #TrustingtheProcess. We did however have bomb seats in the 2nd row overlooking left field…

Where we all started Phillies

buuuuuuuuut naturally we had to get ourselves into some mischief.


We didn’t know it at the time, but to get kicked out of a Phillies game you may actually need to murder someone. After a beer or two, we decided – let’s see how close to the field we can get without security touching us… At first, it was baby steps.

Front row, center field… Not a bad view:

Front Row Phillies Game

But we didn’t know what we started. Once this picture was sent to the crew, the game was ON and we would do anything and everything to get ourselves as close to home plate as possible.

Long Distance Dab Phillies

Now, after we found ourselves inching closer to the action, we began to essentially just find each other in the stadium, taking pictures and letting the group know how much closer we are than them (see Taylor above dabbing right under the foul pole).

Okay, so thus far, nothing too crazy had happened, no lines crossed and not too close to the action. But when the game is on the line – no man, woman, or ballgirl was safe.

Phillies Ballgirl

Phillies Game on the field

As you can see, that’s basically third base but furthermore ON THE FIELD… That is really what spiced up the game. We started to realize there are no limits to how easy it was to walk by security. Like they’re there, but they’re not really THERE – if ya know what I mean. I mean shit, look at this old bastard…

Phillies Security Guard

You think he was giving us orders on where we can and cannot go?? GTFO!!

We knew around the 8th inning we needed to start pushing the limits… What I learned was that the move is to wait until security is completely not paying attention to anything and zoom by them like you belonged, no questions asked… And shit, who knows, maybe you find yourself right behind the Phillies fucking dugout – close enough to Odubel Herrera to let him know he’s blowing it for my fantasy team this year.

Here’s the thing though… Once you get it in your blood that you want to push the envelope as far as it’ll go, you’ll do anything – regardless of whether it “should” get you kicked out or not.

Thew did it first, Taylor did more… Both got us yelled at by security, yet somehow not kicked out.


I honestly gotta say to all Phils fans out there: first, shoutout to you for being Phils fans – you da real MVP’s, but second, play this “free ticket promotion game” because you can get any tickets you want (probably for free) and sit legitimately behind home plate if you play your cards right.

Citizens Bank Park: Where Amazing Happens.



Cheap Thrills & Strugglin’ Phils,