Before you read this, you should start by knowing I am pretty frustrated with buying Water Cooler Sports’ HQ a house. It’s not like I got Sam Hinkie as my GM and I can sit back and #TrustTheProcess. This is the New York City area (and as winning franchises like the Knicks and Jets know, you have to be “win now” every year) and I want it NOW.

It all started almost two months ago now. We signed papers to put an offer in on a rundown house in a nice area that we definitely should be able to fix up and sell for a ton more (yes, I agree – WCS Real Estate classes should be taught soon… we’ll look into it).

And to protect your (and my) feelings, I’ll keep all the numbers very round and simple to understand. Let’s say the house we’re buying was $100.

My offer was to buy the house at full price, borrowing $95.81 with $4.29 paid up front in the form of a down payment… Now, I knew that there are fees involved borrowing that much money, so I assumed I’d be paying ROUGHLY $2.82 in fees.

Well, it was first brought to my attention that the fees were actually going to be $4.29… Which, yes, was a bummer as that increased by 150% pretty fast, but it was “doable”.

Then it was brought to my attention that I not only have that down payment of $4.29, AND the increased fees at $4.29, but also – in order to qualify for the loan, I needed another $2.82 to pay off other debts that were making it impossible for the mortgage company to say “yes, this person can take on more debt!

Jesus – are you kidding me?!

Jesus Ha Ha Ha No.jpg

Then, after looking around for help to get that ridiculous $11.47 together so we can get this damn house (keep in mind I estimated $7.11 at first), I finally get the news that the fees ACTUALLY are $7.15, not $4.29.

(Insane disclaimer: I swear to you the ratio’s here are almost exactly the scenario I am experiencing.)

What started as me buying a $100 house for $7.11 up front, has morphed into needing $14.26.

You can easily imagine my head is exploding thinking about that… Also, at this point I’ve run out of money to play these games of forever increasing dollar amounts and I believed the deal was dead (this was legitimately last night). So I did what any normal person would do and laid into all parties involved…

So, now what? Well, as everyone’s paycheck is on the line (shoutout to commission based jobs where the salesperson gets nothing if the sale doesn’t go through), it SOMEHOW will magically work out that I can buy the $100 house by increasing the loaned amount by $2.82 – the exact number I needed to pay the increase in costs – and then those costs are basically just paid through the loan.


Anyways, it appears Water Cooler Sports’ HQ my house will eventually be fine… Until then this current game of pong between “I got it” to “I lost it” will likely continue for a few more months!!




The Joys of Adulting,