I’ll give you three guesses as to where this happened:

A.) Florida

B.) China

C.) India

And the winner is…..CHINA.  Yeah I’d never call an American kid a “dumbass” in the title so that left it down to China and India.  Anyways, let’s get to the actual act.

So the kid was apparently four years old and he went with his mom to get a massage.  I don’t really know a ton about this story, I just saw a quick little video about it, but it sounds like the kid was waiting for his mom to finish.  I’m assuming what happened was this little shit was sitting in the waiting room annoying the hell out of the receptionist.  He was probably asking the girl at the desk question after question without giving her the opportunity to answer and finally the chick was probably so fed up she just threw him in an empty room to “play” in.

What the receptionist wasn’t expecting though was for this jackass to get his fucking head stuck in the face hole of the massage table.  Now this in itself is quite the feat.  I’ve never had an official massage, but I’ve seen my fair share of adult films with massage tables and those face holes are pretty small.  On top of that, Chinese kids have huge heads.  I have no actual facts or anything to back that up, but just from seeing Chinese kids on TV and stuff, they always look like they have tiny bodies and enormous heads.  The only way this could have happened was that this kid poured massage oil over his head to make it easier to squeeze through little hole.

They had to call the fire department to get his head out and it was reported that the kid stayed extremely calm the whole time.  Uhh no shit.  The kid was probably unconscious because his air supply was cut off after being choked out by the table he shoved his head through.  Well at least the kid is okay, though he was probably going to be in the running for the Darwin Awards if it ended differently.

 

@WhatAKetchWCS