MLB, in an attempt to become more cool and fun decided that on the weekend of August 25th-27th players can wear jerseys with their nicknames on the back. This idea came about a few months ago, but the jerseys with the nicknames were released today today. I’ve seen a few of them, some are very good, others are not. Let’s look at a few winners and losers of Player’s Weekend nicknames:
Winner: Yoenis Cespedes
I’m glad he went with “La Potencia” instead of going with something like “Yo” or something. La Potencia means “The Power” so that’s a pretty sick nickname. However how weird is it that “Power” is a feminine noun in Spanish?
Winner: Aaron Judge
God damnit. It pains me to say it, but “All Rise” is pretty fucking good. I hate that I like it, but what can you do? The guy has tore it up this year and has a goddamn “Judge’s Chamber” section at the ballpark. As much as I hate the Yankees, I’m a fan of witty word play and even I will admit they’re doing a lot right with Judge.
Loser: Giancarlo Stanton
Fucking “Cruz”? Who the hell calls him Cruz? Cruz is a last name anyways. It’s not even unique or cool. You can see Cruz on a jersey literally any other day of the week.
Loser: Manny Machado
I hate Machado. That is well documented through this website and my tweets. But I have the ability to give credit where credit is due (see: Aaron Judge). Mr. Miami is dumb. If he played for the Marlins then it’d be fine. But he doesn’t, he plays for the Baltimore Orioles, in Baltimore. Dumb name.
Winner: Kyle Seager
Hilarious. I really enjoy this one. Definitely no sibling complex there.
Loser: Carlos Correa
Correa is really good, but “Showrrea” seems like a bit of a stretch.
Winner: Starlin Castro
Again, it kills me to throw another Yankee on this list, but “All-Starlin” is pretty good. Props.
Winner: Craig Kimbrel
Dirty Craig sounds like a sex position. All in on that.
Winner: Noah Syndergaard
Nothing wrong with going with a nickname that everyone calls you.
Loser: Matt Harvey
If this was a couple years ago it would have said “Dark Knight.” Going from “Dark Knight” to “Harv” is a quite the fall from grace. Life comes at you fast.
Winner: AJ Ellis
Not sure why, but this one made me laugh.
Loser: Travis d’Arnaud
At least he’s proud of his tiny dick.
Winner: Dustin Pedroia
I’ve always loved the name “Laser Show.” It’s so perfect.
Winner: Xander Bogaerts
“X” is so simple, yet intimidating.
Loser: Kelvin Herrera
A single letter “H” definitely doesn’t work like X does.
Winner: Brandon Moss
Moss Dogg is pretty dope.
Winner: Robinson Cano
I like it.
Winner: Nelson Cruz
“Boomstick” is a pretty sick baseball nickname.
Good Thought, Execution Not Quite: Travis Shaw
Jarred Carrabis gave Shaw the nickname “Mayor of Ding Dong City” when he was in Boston and it was awesome. I love that Shaw embraced the name too. However, it’s sadly too long and “Mayor – DDC” looks weird on the jersey. It’s too bad they couldn’t put “Mayor Of” above the number and then “Ding Dong City” below the number. Maybe next year.
Winner: Jarlin Garcia
I love this one. This actually might be my favorite one. It sounds like a character from Finding Nemo or something. Jarlin the Marlin.
Biggest Loser: Brett Gardner
What a fucking loser. Just putting his normal last name on this jersey. I thought I couldn’t hate this guy more, but Jesus Christ.
Loser: Joey Votto
I guess Tikko 2 is some Korean thing, but Votto isn’t Korean. Maybe I’m just dumb and don’t get it. The Reds though are winners because those jerseys are awesome.
Honestly a lot of the gear for Players’ Weekend is pretty sweet. The Phillies’ and Mariners’ hats are two things that caught my eye.
I liked going through these. It’s too bad though that Pablo Sandoval isn’t still on the Red Sox so his jersey could say “Fatass.” I was also sad Bartolo’s wasn’t “Big Sexy.” I could literally sit here and go through every single team but I will spare you so I know I missed some. Let me know which ones I did miss that you like, or hate.