So the episode started out with Jamie not being dead – which was bullshit. As I said in the last recap, he was wearing a full armor suit and doesn’t have a hand when we fell into a lake and was sinking… That fucker was a sure thing to drown.
Another thing worth noting from that apparent “lake” he fell into. He was riding a fucking horse right next to what looked like a puddle and then when we fell in it was endlessly deep. That made NO sense. How that didn’t piss me off the first time around is beyond me, but I noticed it yesterday and it was retarded… not as retarded as the fact that Jamie survived. I need to reiterate – he should be dead, this is horseshit that that incestual disgusting fuck is still in the show.
Beyond that, this episode was really about Khaleesi knowing that she flexed one third of her nuts and no one wants to fuck with her. She owns everyone’s babies.
John Snow finally has some competition in the “Who’s gonna bang Khaleesi?” sweepstakes as “the guy who had scabies earlier this season but got cured” (as I know him) came back to serve her… Apparently, I was told, he really wants to bang Khaleesi (who doesn’t) despite being old and washed up. It should be absolutely no competition but this show throws curve-balls sometimes (like Jamie getting his sister Cersei pregnant), so who knows!!
Also, there was a scene last night where one of the dragon got in John Snow’s face and was growling and shit, and I gotta say – I was fucking spooked. I’ve only ever owned a 70-pound bluetick coonhound that bit people and that was scary enough.
A dragon though? FUCK. THAT.
But he handled it like a savage and pet the thing’s nose despite its snarling teeth being in his face. Amazing. He is my hero. Total boss.
Beyond that, the biggest thing I remember is that John Snow and a motley crew of men (and I mean MEN) went outside the wall to face the nightwalkers…
Now, I don’t think I have gotten into this yet, but the nightwalkers are basically zombies and are coming to kill everyone I guess. Only this special rock/metal called “dragonglass” can kill them, oh, and fire… Oh, but also no one thinks they’re real – because ZOMBIES AREN’T REAL. Basically this is one of those “so fake” things that makes me hate watching the show… But also whatever. It’s a show, not real life. Whatever. I’ll get over it. I’m a thrones guy now.
So putting that aside, they basically need to go fight them and bring one back I guess? And if they do that, then they’ll convince everyone that zombies do exist and the dragons can torch them all real easily I guess… Easy peasy. I sense something fucking this golden gameplan up.
I dunno, it all seems to be getting a little ridiculous for my liking, but whatever. I’m in this for the long haul now.
Thrones or Die,