Those of you #blessed enough to know our Producer Tim (he used to be an EP on the In My Face?! podcast #RIP), will know, he is a simple man with simple needs. Tim is a blue-collar construction worker, and he has been known to indulge in the occasional
beer binge from time to time.
Now for this particular story, I want to take us back to Syracuse, NY in the January of 2015. We had just watched the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode where “The Gang Beats Wade Boggs” and we were naturally inspired to get after it ourselves.
For those of you unknowing, the legend goes that Wade Boggs evidently drank like 70 beers in a timeframe of something like, “from when he entered the dugout from after the game, until he arrived in Seattle from the flight.” We gave ourselves an unlimited time-frame, but kept this in mind throughout, but just in case you’re wondering of the flight times:
So, after a weekend of going out and doing our thing, on a Sunday morning – we threw on our uniforms (some white t-shirts), got a sharpie and a few 30 racks, and were ready to take down Boggs ourselves… Just like the gang did.
**Couple Noteworthy Items: Producer Tim was a senior in college still, so he 100% had class the next day (Spoiler Alert: he missed it), and I had work the next day… But that didn’t matter. Life was good… Also worth noting, the combined weight of us was probably 300 pounds, AND Tim is 6’0″ – so to say we’re skinny is pretty accurate. So every frat boy reading this thinking you can “crush” what I’m about to tell you Tim (or I) did, you’re probably right… But pound for pound, it’s no contest.**
A third member was partaking in this challenge though from the get-go he said he was more participating than really going for it… For the sake of anonymity and protecting the innocent, we’ll call this guy “Sweet Lew“.
So, off we went… Every beer finished earned us another tick mark on our shirts and the three of us were OFF to the races. I remember thinking early on, “this isn’t THAT bad, it’s just like any other day” – which spoke VOLUMES about our lifestyle back then.
I felt as though the first 12 went down really easily, but as we had woken up probably still buzzing (literally) from the Red Bull & Vodka’s we had coursing through our veins (shoutout Mully’s), it didn’t super surprise me. Anyway, through the first dozen beers – it was a tight race.
Then, like the thoroughbred that he is, Producer Tim showed everyone what a true man really is.
All of a sudden Sweet Lew and I were around 15 deep, and Tim was staring down the barrel of that beautiful TWO-ZERO. Now, my timeframe here is going to be hazy, but I would guess that we started around 2pm, and finished around 8pm, but if I had to guess when Tim hit 20, it was probably like 5pm (reminder: these are all EST for those of you keeping score at home).
So here is where things got
dangerous interesting. Like McGregor in Round 9, Tim was just out on his feet. However, his brain knew one thing and one thing only – and that was: KEEP. DRINKING. BEERS.
He hit 25 beers and at this point it was really a spectacle. Now, there were probably double digits worth of people in the room that were strictly there to #Witness.
And boy did Producer Tim not disappoint.
He dug deep and kept pounding. He hit 25 and was just a bag of skin and bones. But he kept going. 26. He’s no longer really talking, moreso just jibberish that the spectators (which now there are a TON of btw) were thoroughly enjoying. 27. At this point his eyes are essentially closed and it’s a feat he can hold a beer. He now has to sit in a lounger and that’s the only thing holding him up.
28. And that is all she wrote folks. When we marked off the 28th tick on his shirt, the lights were OUT.
Now, to sit back and compare Wade Boggs to Producer Tim is probably the same as comparing Mother Teresa and Kim Jong Un. However, if I know Wade, I think he’d be proud of how Tim put it all on the line
for absolutely no reason.
Now, the aftermath of this story is that Tim swore he’d never do this challenge again as he believes he alcohol poisoned himself… I was there to witness basically a three day hangover where a man who I have seen drink 60+ days in a row (6 beers or more – there’s another story: “The DiMaggio Streak“) couldn’t leave his room, let alone his apartment.
An amazing spectacle that on a day where #NationalBeerLoversDay was trending on Twitter, needed to be shared.
Cheers to all those who tried to tackle this feat alongside Sweet Lew, Tim & I. I salute you.
We Are All #Witness,