Week 4 of the NFL season is over. And ONE QUARTER of the way through the year, I am pretty certain the Giants won’t win a single game and my life is over. Let’s get to how everything else went… And fast.
Packers 35, Bears 14
Thursday Night Football color rush giving us a 4-TD performance out of Aaron Rodgers as the Packers just demolished the Bears was a nice “okay, everything is right in the world” kinda feeling… It didn’t last long.
Bills 23, Falcons 17
How? What? The Bills?! OVER THE FALCONS?! This has me so damn confused, but it’s great to see the red-headed step-child finally getting their time atop the AFC East!!
Buccaneers 25, Giants 23
The Giants suck. Just very frankly we seem like the Knicks were we get down by too many points and can’t come back, just too big a deficit. It’s sad really… Sad!
Saints 20, Dolphins 0
Watching this game I feel like Jay Cutler went three-and-out on EVERY possession. I don’t know the facts but it seemed that way. Said day for Smokin’ Jay…
Bengals 31, Browns 7
Rams 35, Cowboys 30
HELL. YES. Jared Goff, PAC-12 GOD, taking it to Dallas and leveling the playing field in the NFC East hopefully low enough that my winless Giants still have a snowball’s chance in hell.
Lions 14, Vikings 7
If someone told me that Frat Stafford would throw for a single touchdown and the Lions would still win, I’d say you’re nuts… You would not have been. Lions win in a pretty ugly game.
Panthers 33, Patriots 30
The Panthers are such a wild card. One week Cam Newton looks fit for the CFL, the next he beats Belichick in Foxborough. The big story from this game is the Pats are now (4 weeks in) tied with the Jets and behind the Bills.
Jets 23, Jaguars 20
If the Jets goal this year was taking, they suck at sucking. Also, @Jaguars – you need to beat the Jets… THEY’RE TANKING AND HAVE BEEN OPEN ABOUT THIS FOR MONTHS!!!
Steelers 26, Ravens 9
Le’Veon Bell is back. That is all. Pittsburgh will handily win the division.
Texans 57, Titans 14
One of the more “what in the actual fuck” games from this week… DeShaun Watson 4 passing TD’s and one rushing, just pee’d on the Titans. I couldn’t believe the score every time this scrolled by.
Cardinals 18, 49ers 15
Larry Fitzgerald catches a TD to win this game in OT after the 49ers kicked a field goal… Love it. That guy really is ageless.
Eagles 26, Chargers 24
Phillips Rivers now has 26 losses of 3 points or fewer since 2006… SIX more than the next closest. Guy just gets in close games and somehow the football gods are like, “Nah, jk, we’re gonna give this one to the other guys…” This week Philly benefitted.
Broncos 16, Raiders 10
What’s up with Oakland? Are they trash again? Is Trevor Siemian good? What?!
Seahawks 46, Colts 18
Probably the only result this weekend that made any sense…
And there we have it. 495 words to sum up NFL Week 4.
2 Fast 2 Furious,