FINALLY! What a great day this is for America and, therefore, the world. Rick Pitino has officially been fired from Louisville after a unanimous decision from the board for being the sleeziest scumbag in all of college sports. Just look at the guy! How did it take this long for him to get fired.


The man is a living, breathing ghoul and somehow every time a scandal strikes, he gets the benefit of the doubt. Well not this time, Ricky! Not since the days of Joe Paterno have I not believed the “I didn’t know” excuse so much. Dude pretty much gets pointed out as the guy who is working this entire corruption ring at Louisville and has the balls to say he didn’t know. He even took a polygraph (consisting of two questions, wow) to try and sway people. But everyone knows you can just clench your asscheeks and beat those things so go fuck yourself, man.

Why am I so happy about this? As you can tell, Rick Pitino boils my blood. He’s slippery as an eel and always has plausible deniability so it nobody can touch him (except in an Olive Garden). Hell, Boeheim was stripped of critical wins and Syracuse Men’s Basketball was put on probation for like 5 years for not “monitoring” his program! And yet every time Tricky Rick says, “I didn’t know” everyone just believes that and lets shit go on as usual! Well not this time – not today!

You’re done you little weasel and I hope you can’t even get a job outside of a used car lot for the rest of your days.