Here we go people, let’s run through Week 6’s slate so you can go pretend you are a huuuuuuuge football guy and watched all the NFL games cuz you’re a bro and that’s what bro’s do*!!

Eagles 28, Panthers 23
Well, the Eagles are 5-1. That sucks. I hate Philly but I guess they’re good or whatever… That fucking Andy Samberg lookin’ QB of theirs panned out. Fuck.

Giants 23, Broncos 10
So all the Giants stars were forced out due to injury and NOW we win? I don’t get it… Also, Brock Osweiler had a cameo for a minute when Trevor Siemann got hurt and he spiked it one play to save time for one last play in the 1st half, and immediately followed it up with a kneel. THAT guy will make like $16 million this year.

Dolphins 20, Falcons 17
I just want to point out that the Miami Dolphins, SMOKIN’ JAY CUTLER’S MIAMI DOLPHINS, are only a half game out of the AFC East lead… Oh, hell yea.

Smokin Jay Cutler Dolphins.jpg

Vikings 23, Packers 10
The Packers are now dead. Aaron Rodgers out with a broken collarbone… Throw some dirt on them. Dead.

Saints 52, Lions 38
What a fucking shootout. As I was in Michigan this was the only broadcast radio game, and this was wild. Sounded like the Lions, lead by Frat Stafford’s 312 yds and 3 TD’s, mounted quite a comeback, but their defense couldn’t stop anything.

Patriots 24, Jets 17
The Jets were up 14-0 in this game (so regardless, they blew it)… But there was a bullshit OVERTURNED call in the fourth quarter (see below). So let’s just go ahead and say the Patriots cheated again, shall we?

Redskins 26, 49ers 24
I mean, whatever, fuck Washington. They almost lost to an 0-6 team at home… Hilarious to me they are ALWAYS an afterthought… Every. Single. Year.

Bears 27, Ravens 24
Mitch Trubisky versus Joe Flacco. A true “passing of the torch” in terms of elite QB’s… JK!!! Neither of them eclipsed the 200 yard mark for the day (Trubisky didn’t even cross the 100 yard mark until OT)…

Texans 33, Browns 17
Scoring 33 points was enough to bring the Texans to 3-3, behind Watson’s 3 passing TD’s… Lots of three’s. Not sure what that means, but if you’re superstitious, I’m saying bet on 3 today.

Cardinals 38, Buccaneers 33
AP joined Arizona’s “Team AARP” this week and helped them put up points in bunches!! Also, worth nothing that Larry  Fitzgerald is absolutely timeless, like a Donna Lewis song, or Zubaz – “An Oldie but a Goodie!”

Rams 27, Jaguars 17
The Rams are 4-2!! And are atop the NFC West. Sean McVay is absolutely killing it… Poor Jeff Fisher, just didn’t have enough time – guy lays all the groundwork for this and then gets ousted. Sad!

 nfl memes photos week leather GIF

Steelers 19, Chiefs 13
Thank God. I was wondering all year “Yeah, but are the Chiefs REALLY good?” and the Steelers thankfully ended that debate for good. Obviously the Chiefs will do what they always do. Go like 13-3 and then get a key player hurt come playoffs and the Patriots/Steelers can duke it out for AFC Champ.

Chargers 17, Raiders 16
It’s very rare that we get to say the Chargers were down 2 with 3 seconds left and they actually MAKE the field goal to win the game… But shit, they did it!! When Phillip Rivers wins, we all win.

 reaction excited bench rific rivers GIF

And there we go – 600 words to wrap up another NFL week!! We did it.



Giants Going 11-5,


* = Fun Fact: I did not watch a single game except for the Giants’ game yesterday… So this is really the blind leading the blind. Had to resort to radio all day yesterday as I was road warrior’ing it back from the deep north (Michigan).