This may sound like sour grapes… And maybe it is motivated by that a little bit, but I think the question needs to be asked: Is Jose Altuve doing coke?

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I honestly didn’t think it, until I was watching the game with someone who NEVER watches baseball (so unbiased in that sense) on Saturday night, and that was the FIRST thing he said: “That guys GOTTA be on coke right now.

At first everyone was like, “Oh, cuz he’s so fast right?

And the response was pretty great – “Well, THAT, and he’s always chewing the invisible sandwich!

Okay, so we’ll let you in on a little secret – “chewing the invisible sandwich” – is what people who are fucked up on coke do. They seemingly chew air… And Altuve does it A LOT.

And apparently this kid was NOT alone, people have taken note on Twitter:

Now, I’m sure this is coming off as sour grapes, WHATEVER, but I only JUST realized it. Now I wanna start up the witch hunt! The guy is too small to be this good… GOTTA BE ON THAT BOOGER SUGAR!!

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