If you haven’t heard, LiAngelo Ball and some of his UCLA teammates were caught shoplifting at a Louis Vuitton in China, where they were set to play their season opener on Saturday.

The first time I read this I thought to myself, who really cares? The kid is eighteen years old and we all do REALLY stupid shit at 18, oftentimes illegal, so like… WHATEVER!!

But, then I reread it and realized it’s in China. CHINA. United States rules don’t fucking matter over there. They just look at these kids as shithead youths and dishonorable thieves, and will probably treat them like no one special and make their lives living hell.

What do I mean by that? One, their judicial system is probably communist bullshit. Do they even have judges? Is it just a Samurai who hears the allegations and proof and decides everything? I am also fairly certain stealing in a bunch of countries warrants you losing hands… “If you don’t have your hands, you can’t have ‘sticky fingers’!” I’m pretty sure that’s a thing.

Anyways, tell me WHEN Lavar reacts he doesn’t go COMPLETELY overboard, and then somehow Trump gets involved, and then China is like, “Donny… you’re country owes us like $5 trillion. You can’t tell us shit.” And then innately he says the wrong thing and we have World War III.

I’m telling you, this LiAngelo thing could 100% be an international incident.

Ehh, we had a good run!!





SPINZONE: For LiAngelo, there is NOTHING that could clear his name more in the “is he sponsored by BBB?” realm, ya know? If he was getting any money he could just buy whatever the fuck he wants, not rob shitty Chinese Louis Vuitton stores… I’m just saying if he gets out of this, he is Teflon to the NCAA in that regard.