Jets wide receiver Jeremy Kerley failed a drug test early in November and received a 4-game suspension, so this week against Denver will be his first week back in action.
When talking about his failed PED test, Kerley offered this as to why he could have failed:
“I don’t know. There’s a lot of ghosts around here. Maybe a ghost put it in me. You know the Ghost of Christmas Past? A ghost might have put it in me. I don’t know.”
Jeremy, I love the “I didn’t do it” schtick and if you’re gonna do it, you gotta commit to it, you kudos to you there. But you can’t offer that shit as your excuse… COME. ON!!!
Ghosts aren’t fucking real and they certainly aren’t sticking needles in people and injecting PED’s!! WTF!! There are like a million MORE likely things that people could’ve believed but you went with ghosts. You’re an idiot.
Let me give you some PR tips for next year when this “ghost” strikes again…
#1) Blame it on some chick who injected you in part of a larger blackmail scheme. That way it’ll be like a humble brag that you get around and people will be like, “Aww, poor guy… Also what a bitch his side-girl was being!”
#2) Blame it on tripping and falling on a needle someone must have left laying around. Deflect the blame and start some lockerroom controversy. Not enough of that outta the Jets camp this year.
#3) Blame it on the diet you’re on. Say your idiot chef must have snuck it into your protein heavy meals and you had no idea. This is probably the best because it’s like you were trying so hard to get yourself better the right way, but your chef blew it… Boom, all things are deflected.
JUST DON’T BLAME GHOSTS YOU MORON!!
I cannot believe people like this exist, but it was funny as shit… And given the Christmas SZN, I appreciate the reference to the ghost of Christmas past. It’s just, Jeremy, for me, do better next time.