So this morning listening to the morning Golic & Wingo radio show on ESPN, I heard them tossing around a few Christmas tradition “Would You Rather” debates and I felt it’d be necessary to weigh in, you know, in the spirit of the Christmas SZN and all!!

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Minor league mascots are ELECTRIC, and probably have so much more leeway to be out of control than major league teams. Like, the 500 people that go to a Roswell Invaders game probably don’t care much if the mascot is doing borderline inappropriate stuff (like air-humping, or slow jerking, or whatever).

Santa on the flip-side is an old man that has babies and brats come sit on his lap and tell them what he wants for Christmas. Some, if not MOST of them will cry. To me, that is NOT something I’d want to do.

Easy, easy, EASY decision here – Minor League Mascot.

Hang all the lights outside can be cold, labor-some and EXTREMELY time-consuming.

Cutting a tree down is awesome. WCS HQ “cut” its own tree down this year and it was awesome. It took like a minute to saw, someone wraps it, you carry it inside… It’s all so easy (granted this thing is currently just an un-decorated Douglas Fir in our front hall, but still.

No doubter again here – cutting the tree and putting it up is my call.

Third in a row that honestly isn’t even close to a decision for me.

Listen, ham is great and all… But egg nog you have once a year, and if you know the Taylor family, you know that our egg nog is the BEST egg nog (when made properly*). Not to mention on Christmas, we go Prime Rib… not ham. So honestly, the whole “Christmas Ham” thing, I just don’t GET it.

This is interesting because caroling could be a little like karaoke I imagine (don’t know, never done the caroling thing)… You’re drunk, with your friends happily singing Christmas songs to your neighbors.

But I imagine after a few songs through, you’re just like, “Ugh, wtf… I just want to sit on my couch and fart the night away with a few more egg nogs.

If you go the car antler route, there’s really no inconvenience. You basically just look like a festive A-hole wherever you go – and that’s not really a big deal to me, so I guess the antlers wins because it’s easier.

I’m going car antlers.

As someone who currently has NO decorations, I can say I definitely WANT them… It’s just tough to find the time to hang them (or go out and get them).

Having “ALL THE OUTSIDE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS” is hilarious to me. Like, yes, it is entirely too much, but I’m a pretty #extra guy. I say you let everyone know you are celebrating Christmas and you rub their faces in it.

Your options here are really “be boring” or “do too much” and given those choices, I’m ALWAYS going to do too much.

ALL THE DECORATIONS IT IS!!

This is interesting. I am someone who loves to host, but given the HQ’s current state of affairs, that is just not in the cards (legit haven’t had a housewarming and I’ve lived there for 3 months).

BUT, given the chance, hosting Christmas has got to be a marathon. So much planning, so much food, so much booze… It reminds me a bit of BeerFest honestly.

I think I would enjoy it. I don’t know if I’d know what to do exactly with kids, but I’m sure I’d figure it out. You’re hosting family only, so you can disappoint them and it doesn’t matter – they just have to accept you regardless… So screw it!

I think I’d rather host than have to travel (that being said, I know I actually like to plan shit, and others don’t, so I could easily see the lazy move be that travelling involves ZERO planning… but ya know what? I’m different. YOLO!!).

Real tree all the way.

Between the lumberjack feeling you get when cutting it down and the smell that takes over your house, there is NO WAY (until I’m too old to do this shit) I’d get a fake tree.

I will accept a fake tree from people who legitimately don’t have the time/energy for a real one. But beyond that, you have to sack up, get some of that annoying sap from a real tree on your hands, and do Christmas the right way.

#TeamRealTree.

Now, this one is interesting because Christmas is great and all. The egg nog is flowing. There’s usually a nice fire going. Getting joke gifts to your friends is hilarious. Icing your Dad on Christmas morning is epic… Christmas is great.

But Thanksgiving and 4th of July are 1 and 1A to me.

Thanksgiving is the laziest holiday ever… Just sit around and eat great food. THAT my friends is amazing. I don’t even know how another holiday could be that great, but then again… America.

Fourth of July takes the cake for me honestly. It’s a day to get drunk, hang out on the beach (or in a pool… whatever is accessible), yell “Love it or leave it!” like 500 times, shoot fire works, probably have a bonfire or something… Yes, I know I sound like a STRONG redneck right now, but Fourth of July is LIT AF.

I am a patriot, so my top holiday (besides BeerFest) is still 6 months away.


I was only half in on Golic & Wingo after Mike & Mike went off the air, but they have great personalities honestly. I think they’re gonna kill it.

Let me know if you think I am off on some of these of these guys… I think I’m with the people on most if not all. And if you’re opposing me, I’ll take you down you ham-loving, free-tree-having, Mall Santa!!

 

 

Tis the SZN,
@WCS_Taylor

 

 

* = One year in college, I tried to make egg nog from scratch – as the family does – but I screwed up the most basic ingredient of egg nogs – the EGG portion. I put whites in instead of the yolks and I swear to your I drank a gallon of what looks like a frothy Elmer’s glue instead of the delicious golden nectar I grew up with… Hand up on that one, I blew it.