I wish people who are good at what they do would stop sexually harassing and abusing people. It’s not shocking that this happens, but Jesus Christ, guys.
Allegedly what happened with Ansari was that he and a women were at a party and then he took her back to her place and he really wanted to have sex with her. The details were strange. In summation, he was forcibly kissing her and kept pressing her to have sex. She would ask to slow down and he would initially comply, but then start pressing himself on her again (both literally and figuratively). Now the words “consent” and “rape” were not used in these reports, but the girl, who is remaining anonymous, said she was “uncomfortable.”
Then, the next day he texted her saying he had fun the previous night. The girl texted back saying it wasn’t fun for her and that she was uncomfortable. He then replied saying he must’ve misread her signs and he was sorry. The girl came out of the woodworks this week because she saw Ansari at the Golden Globes (that was the reward show from this past week, right?) wearing a “Time’s Up” pin. She saw that and was probably like “Aw HELL no” and outed Ansari. Ansari hasn’t responded yet.
Ansari now is getting absolutely crushed because of this and what’s odd about this particular case is that some people are defending him. The people that are defending him are (shocker) also getting crushed on Twitter. People, both men and women, are accusing the sympathizers of victim shaming, and implying that maybe they’re defending him because this is something they would do.
Now, is what Ansari did an incredibly bad look? Absolutely. But let me ask this: If this is the worst thing Ansari has done, does he deserve to be put on the bulletin board with Weinstein, Spacey, Charlie Rose, and the rest of them? If this is the absolute peak of Ansari’s misconduct, maybe we let him come out and say something about before we boycott everything he’s ever done. Maybe he says the right things. Maybe he tries to make it right. Again, the words “rape” and “consent” were not brought up in any of these allegations. Now if it comes out that he does this on a regular basis then fuck him, but if this was truly a one time instance then I want to hear what he has to say.
Like Brent Musburger, I believe in giving people second chances and giving people the opportunity to right their wrong. Again, this allegation is not even close to the level of the Weinsteins of the world. I guess what I’m saying is, it is okay to wait and see what else comes out before we pin Ansari as a predator. Were there more cases? Are there worse details? What will Ansari say in response? It’s okay to wait and see. It really is.
PS – Screw this chick:
A lot of men will read that post about Aziz Ansari and see an everyday, reasonable sexual interaction. But part of what women are saying right now is that what the culture considers "normal" sexual encounters are not working for us, and oftentimes harmful.
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) January 14, 2018
Really? You think “a lot of men” will think what Ansari did is an “everyday, reasonable sexual interaction?” Yeah you’re right, we’re all just sex hungry animals that tell girls to shut up as we try and try to have sex with them. The majority of us are like that. You got us pegged. Respect for women? Pssshht.
Get Bent, Jessica
PPS: Keep porn out of this!
Media depictions, and pornography have created and strengthened it. Makes sense, but in such a climate women MUST be encouraged to stand up for themselves. Men should learn, yes. But we should also demand more from societal norms.
— Neemsayer (@neemsayer) January 14, 2018