I hate to admit it, but I missed yesterday’s State of the Union… Why? It wasn’t because I was watching the Knicks game (the won btw…) or anything LEGIT like that. It was because I was crushing a Happy Hour with $2.50 cans of PBR like a REAL AMERICAN.

But alas, I wanted to be educated and see what Donny J said, so I listened today. If you missed it and want to see it, I put the video below. Or, if you just want my hard-hitting notes, they’re below that… Like SparkNotes for the State of the Union. You’re welcome.

My Thoughts:

  • TOO MUCH CLAPPING. I mean, even just the beginning when he walked in, BEFORE ANYONE SPOKE, they clapped for like 4 straight minutes. FOUR STRAIGHT MINUTES. Try clapping for 240 straight fucking seconds. It’s exhausting!! Fuck. That! Less clapping people… we get it.
  • AMERICAN GRIT. 40 minutes in Donny dropped the whole “we’re gonna build roads [and blah blah blah] with American Grit” and I lost it. Are you kidding?! I thought “GRIT” was just something football guys said and was invited on Pardon My Take, or just something sports guys like Enes Kanter say when they’re describing their team as scrappy or resilient. Hearing the word “grit” out of our President was AWESOME.
  • BUILD THAT WALL. I definitely think building a wall in the year 2018 is the most INSANE thing on the planet. A fucking wall? People have other means of getting places besides walking, this isn’t the year 800 BC… Putting that aside, I think it’s hilarious he touched on this subject last night. He’s supposedly all about responsible government spending, yet there we was talking about building a 2,000 mile long wall. Insanity.
  • CREED. Fast forward to exactly 47:28. He says the word “Creed” and the crowd goes wild. That was NO mistake guys. Donny is an entertainer and he just knows hot topic words that get the people going… And if there’s one thing we know, it’s that even just hearing the band “Creed” referenced gets the fans going. God bless Scott Stapp.
  • TRIGGERING DREAMERS. The “Americans are dreamers too” line almost undoubtedly made libs lose their minds. That’s THEIR word because they want a perfect world where people don’t have to identify their genders and everyone is equal and blah blah blah. Trump using their word in his State of the Union had to send them into a tailspin.
  • WE DON’T TELL OUR ENEMIES OUR PLANS ANYMORE. Wait, what the hell?! Were we ever doing that? That was maybe the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. That’d be like, “Psst, hey, I’m going to punch you in the face” right before throwing a hay-maker… Someone please tell me what that was in reference to because (no surprise) I don’t get it.
  • THIS FUCKING KOREAN GUY ATE DIRT. Trump ended the state of the union (near the end at least) about a North Korean man, whose extremely poor family ate dirt because they were so hungry. Honestly, the way Donny said it was WILD. Eating dirt is INSANE, and I get that he was just trying to explain how bad North Korea is, but announcing that someone ate dirt is madness. Anyways, he went on to say that this dude Jin Jung (or something) WHO GOT HIS LIMBS RUN OVER BY A TRAIN crutched his way across Asia… THE. DUDE. CRUTCHED. HIS. WAY. ACROSS. ASIA. I can remember athletes in college who rolled an ankle or whatever, and were on crutches used to act like the world had ended and needed help carrying their backpack like little bitches… THIS DUDE CRUTCHED ACROSS ASIA?! Are you kidding me? NUTS!!

Maybe not the notes you were looking for, but these things are so boring it’s tough to grab what the actual content was here… Deal with it.

Donald Trump Deal With It GIF

 

 

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