This has been the first baseball off-season that I’ve been actually DYING for today – Opening Day.

Ever since the Yanks were eliminated in Game 7 by the eventual World Series Champs, I’ve just been knuckle-deep thinking about that first pitch home run from Gardy off J.A. Happ (shout-out J.A. Happ for being a part of at least one, if not more, of my THREE straight fantasy baseball championships #blessed #humble).

So my interest in Spring Training this year was, well, probably above what it should be… If you haven’t paid ANY attention, I’ll give you a few of the stories that caught my eye the most, because there definitely was ENOUGH going on before the season even opened that you should know about.

Russell Wilson New York Yankees Signs Footballs for all teammates.jpg

The Yankees traded for the rights to Russell Wilson, yes, THAT Russel Wilson the QB from the Seahawks, from the Texas Rangers… My understanding is that he actually isn’t terrible at baseball, AND, as a Super Bowl Champion and overall a great “pro’s pro” he could teach the younger guys how to win. From everything I heard the guys seemed to like him around the clubhouse (he even offered our boy Clint Frazier some hilarious “medical” advice but we’ll get to that in a bit).

The one thing that bothered me a little was that when he left Spring Training, he signed footballs for everyone… Like, let’s be professionals about this – DON’T give out signed fucking footballs like you’re a god. Yes, you’re good. And if someone asked you for an autographed something then, sure, sign it! But don’t go around giving all the NEW YORK Yankees an autographed football. You play for SEATTLE. I want my Yankees guys to be Giants (maybe Jets) guys.

New York over all.

Miguel Andujar is a STUD, and the world is about to know it. At one point Andujar had four home runs in three games for the Yanks, hitting two of them off of two consecutive pitches seen. Now, truth be told, he WAS sent down to the minors after the acquisition of Drury to play 3rd, but I am telling you this kid will be called up and one point and blow your pinstriped panties clear off.

Our boy Clint Frazier got a concussion. It is no secret that I love Clint Frazier. The guy is a damn stud. Hustles his ass off on offense and defense, and overall just seems like a beast… So when he got a concussion that held him out of Spring Training, it SUCKED. He wanted (probably NEEDED) to prove himself in a crowded outfield this Spring Training.

Enter Dr. Russell Wilson – MASTER of the concussion. He just tells Clint to drink water. Imagine that! Your head hurts, drink water. THAT must be what they do in the ever mysterious tent on the sidelines of NFL games during the “concussion protocol” – they go in, drink a Poland Spring, and BOOM! You’re brain is ready to go back out there!

On a serious note, Clint Frazier was back hitting BP the other day and will start the year on the DL in the minors. Probably was not the ideal Spring for him, but at least he’s getting back on track.

Giancarlo Stanton can’t catch a ball, at least that was how it seemed on his debut in left field back in early March. He missed two balls that should’ve been caught and blamed it on the sun – not EXACTLY what you want outta the guy you’ll be paying a billion dollars to over the next decade (not really). Regardless, I imagine Stanton won’t be out there too often since the Yanks have a gluttony of outfielders to pick from, and he can DH for 69% of the games anyway (don’t quote me but I bet that’s close).

I guess what I’m saying about Stanton here is this: who cares what he fields like if he can hit Matt Stairs-esque moonshots like this:

Gary Sanchez can block pitches!! That is right! The one thing that people were able to HAMMER him for last year seems to have been worked on and taken care of. Gary came into Spring Training leaner so that he could move better behind the plate, and he’s done a solid job of… well, CATCHING so far! Yes, he’ll need to do it all year to stop the #h8rs, but seeing it in Spring Training gave me some confidence in our boy.

Also, want to throw this one in there, I think Sanchez sneakily could be our MVP. All the credit/critique/eyes/pressure will be on Stanton & Judge… Sanchez can just go under the radar and mash the ball into infinity AND play behind the plate? (Insert eyes emoji here!)

CC threw a no hitter this Spring… People forget. Yes, it was only for 2 innings (shoutout Slick Willy for 100% texting me as if it was a full game and at the time I bought it), but it just lets me know that last year’s CRAZY resurgence wasn’t a fluke. Charleston, even in his advanced age, is poised to continue to make hitters look silly and I’m particularly stoked out of my mind for it.

The only thing that worries me is that CC went Vegan this offseason,  and the last time he thought his diet could fix things he gave up Captain Crunch, got skinny and sucked… So I was nervous. But it seems like just because he went Vegan, doesn’t mean he necessarily got skinny. I’ll be honest, I don’t even know WHAT he can eat to stay that big, but whatever it is, he probably eats A LOT of it.

Tommy Kahnle is an Eagles fan. Yup, this one sucks. Kahnle seemed like one of those guys that I was going to love forever, but he went and revealed THIS to me. It sucks, it sucks even more he’s like a superfan and brings Eagles swag with him everywhere they travel to. Honestly, I really felt betrayed when I learned this. But, as with most bad things in life, I’m just going to have to stuff it down with some brown compartmentalize baseball and football, and let him be a fag during football season and root for a team whose fans eat horseshit.

D-Rob’s response was simple yet effective, “Idiot.

Greg Bird got hurt… again. Literally it was like a few days ago we hear Greg Bird had to have surgery to remove some spurs in his ankle or something and he’ll be out a 6-8 weeks. Honestly, this guy is GREAT when he’s out there, but if he gets hurt this often it sucks. He’s like the opposite of Eli – GREAT when he’s out there, but always hurt*.

Alright, that is basically everything I got from Spring Training… Now it’s time for Michael Kay to call the first game of our 162-regular season game win streak. Should be a fun year!



Let’s Go Yanks,



* =  You know – Eli is never hurt, always out there but average when he is (this is a subtweet @Ketch… I’m sure he’ll take it well)!