I would be BOLDFACE lying if I was to get on here and tell everyone I’ve been on my shit about BeerFest like years past. I haven’t. Hand up on that one.
But this will be a true test of what I’m made of. I’ve given myself 18 days until the big day to take care of all the shit I normally would’ve taken care of over the course of several months.
Am I scared? Absolutely not, I’m Joe Taylor. I wasn’t able to run 8 of these fucking things because I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m a beast.
Now, one thing I typically do each year is let everyone know the rules and regulations so you can train properly, which is only fair.
This year with 16 teams, the bracket will be slightly different, STILL DOUBLE ELIMINATION, but we get to drop some crazy games from the bracket (which truth be told were just pains in my ass). Take a look:
**Teams are VERY subject to change in the next 18 days, you’ve been warned**
The losers from each labeled game in the Winner’s Bracket go to the below bracket and battle it out in this double elimination Loser’s Bracket:
To get to Daas Boot, you either have to win the Winner’s Bracket, or win the Loser’s Bracket… When you lose a type of game in the Winner’s Bracket, you’ll need to replay that same type of game in the Loser’s Bracket… So there’s no way escaping it if one of your teammates just straight SUCKS at a certain drinking event. Time to step it up.
Okay, assuming you have grasped how a double elimination bracket works with 16 teams, let’s get to the rules!
THE OFFICIAL BEERFEST RULES!!!
ANCHORMAN. A quarters game, best of 3. Each team will have a small teacup & a quarter with one main pitcher filled with roughly 4 beers (the refs decide at their discretion). Each team lines up on opposite sides of table. The game starts and each teammate has to bounce the quarter into the teacups until they miss, once you miss you pass the teacup and quarter to the teammate next to you. Once the total count of made shots for your team is 21 (in the teacup) you have to try and bounce the quarter into the pitcher (again, if you miss – on to the next player to shoot). First team to 21 plus a final bounce into the pitcher wins. Then the losing team has to chug as much beer as they can. The anchorman is then chosen by the winning team. The purpose of the “anchorman” is that they have to finish the pitcher. The catch is, once a player puts the pitcher to their lips, they can’t take it off or they have to pass it. So 3 teammates go and no matter what is left of the 3-beer pitcher, the anchorman has to finish it. Also worth noting, each team should start with only ONE quarter. If the quarter is lost during the game, the refs will have plenty to give out should you lose it and not be able to find it.
FLIP CUP – Best of 5. If you don’t know flip cup at this point, get the flip out of here. The only thing that really matter is that all the cups are filled up roughly the same (maybe a third of a beer, again 100% ref’s discretion here).
TURBO QUARTERS – 3/4’s full solo cup in front of each team mate (the referee will regulate this). Teams line up on opposite sides of table. Each team has one quarter. One person starts and you simply have to bounce the quarter into your cup, chug the beer and pass the quarter to the next teammate first team to finish wins.
CIVIL WAR – This game will be played on a very large table. Teams line up on opposite sides of the table (four people on each side). This will be one and done. There will be a total of eight sets of 3-cup beer pong racks in front of each player, so 4 on each side. Four balls will be in play and any ball is fair game. Players start shooting and first team to knock out all of the other teams cups win. Once the rack in front of you is gone, you cannot shoot anymore. When eliminated however, you can help recovering pong balls and tossing them back to your still alive teammates. Oh, and super annoying rule that had to be made – if you’re eliminated, you can only stay on your half of the table to recover balls. You can’t stand behind the opposing team and heckle them. If you are eliminated and effect a shot, the ref can have discretion to remove a ball. This game gets hectic as shit and the commissioner too will stop play randomly to get things under control. This really is a fucking war.
BEER PONG – Best of 3 Beer Pong. 6 cups, no blowing or fingering. One re-rack. Behind the back if the ball rolls back ON the table, if the ball hits the ground, it’s the other team’s shot. No “islands”. Bouncing IS allowed for a 2 cup (the one you hit plus 1 more) reward. Refs make any controversial calls and if they are unsure they can go to the commissioner for a final ruling #Goodell.
RANDOM RELAY – Starts with one player playing “Turbo Quarters” (bounce a quarter into a 3/4 full cup, when successful, chug), 2nd players JUST chugs a third beer then plays “Flip Cup”, 3rd player bounces a pong ball into a third full cup, chug, and the last is a straight chug of a full beer. Spilling by players while chugging will be penalized at the ref’s discretion.
DAAS BOOT – Each team member has a boot filled with 3 beers. You start with one person, when they are done, the next goes, and so on, until someone wins. Pretty simple. Spilling results in a penalty (2 minutes for excessive spilling – determined be the commish/refs, so don’t spill). Throwing up is a 2 minute penalty (if it happens during the event or within 5 minutes of the conclusion of Daas Boot) and the commissioner will regulate any other penalties… If you don’t like that, suck it.
Okay, that’s all I got for you today. Stay tuned because I am coming in HOT with BeerFest updates these next 18 days.