Guys, since the Giants 0-5 start and subsequent dumpster fire of a season, I have been one of the loudest guys shouting it from the rooftops that we need to fix the offensive line, and NOT draft a QB because Eli is FINE, well, for another three years or so.
Well, I think I’m going to back up from that stance a LITTLE BIT for one guy and one guy only (and spoiler alert, it is for one TERRIBLE fucking reason).
I would be okay with us drafting Josh Rosen, because I actually think Josh Rosen is a younger version of me!
I read his interview with ESPN earlier today and well, let me just breakdown the UNCANNY comparisons:
- The article says while half the country sees him as a future franchise QB, the other half sees him as “a crap-stirring, system-disrupting locker room poison pill“. In case you didn’t know – back in college, your boy Taylor was a D-2 swimmer, and I was ALRIGHT. I wasn’t ever the best guy on the team, but I wasn’t even close to the bottom half… I was GOOD, not GREAT. I was born with the gift of swimming fast and shit and never really applied myself to getting better (I mean, at the end of the day, I wasn’t going to go on to swim in the Olympics, so why care?). Anyway, I ended up being the WORST cancer a team could have. I basically rallied 90% of the team to party nights before meets and overall was just a jackass. Sound like “a crap-stirring, system-disrupting locker room poison pill“?? I’d say so.
- He addresses the picture of him and some chick in the inflatable hot tub he had in his dorm room. The story behind the picture is hilarious, he accidentally shipped it to his parents address, so his mom who found it hilarious (awesome mom btw) brought it up to him… Guys, my sophomore year, I did the same fucking thing. Josh Rosen was probably like 12 when I did this. Did he hear that I did it at the prestigious Le Moyne College and think to himself, “I’m gonna do that when I grow up?” – I don’t know, maybe! I guess we’ll never know… But we do have proof this I pulled this off back in 2010, sooooo at least there’s that:
- Quote from Rosen, “Maybe a little bit of me was a jerk in the past.“ Apparently the interviewer asked about when you Google “Jerk Josh Rosen” you get thousands of results, and Josh said it’s a good thing because it makes him want to prove them wrong, admitting he maybe was a jerk in the past. And tying this to ME, you could say back in my heyday I was maybe what you’d refer to as a jerk (if you were nice). There was this thing my friends and I started at our school that essentially was a college-wide rumor mill that just shredded any and everyone in sight (we justified it was okay because it didn’t discriminate ANYONE, ourselves included). And yes, since then I’ve definitely admitted I was an asshole back then. Rosen, I feel you brother.
Now, I’m not saying that I myself could lead the New York Giants to a Super Bowl… But I like to think the guy who does so is a guy I could get along with, and since Josh Rosen basically IS me, I’m pretty sure I’d like the fucking dude.
I can’t wait to buy another backup QB’s jersey here in New York!!
P.S. I mean, how can you not root for a guy who simply just wants to eat a cheeseburger in the sanctity of his dorm room inflatable hot tub?!