Matty Ice getting a fully guaranteed $100-million dollar contract extension is as good a time as any to remind people just how prestigious some of us here Water Cooler Sports really are.

Now, I know it’s been a while since Tank Chesney last blogged for us, but just like the whole “Once a Knick, Always a Knick” thing goes – once you’re a writer here, you’re a writer here for life… So we’re gonna talk about Tank & Matty Ice.

Back in the day (mid-2000’s),  they both attended the prestigious William Penn Charter School down in Philly, where each were both EXCELLENT athletes, and funnily enough they both played on the same baseball team… and Matty Ice hazed our boy Tank – shoving him in lockers*.

I remember the first time I heard this story from Tank, Matty Ice was just some QB out of BC with potential… He wasn’t the QB we know him to be today (whose team blew a historic 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl) – we didn’t know exactly what he’d become. But we also didn’t know what Tank would become either.

It’s just crazy to think that two guys coming from the same school, dealt the same deck of cards (pocket aces) could go on to do such different things – both GREAT in their own right.

One went on to do “great” things in the world of football (an NFC Championship is nice I guess), and the other went on to transform sex for generations in the world of porn.

Who’s to say which is better for humanity at large?

Me. I’m to say.

Tank is doing better. He doesn’t need a $100 million dollar extension from us to feel validated… He is already packing a BILLION dollar extension downstairs.





* = Honestly it could be the other way around and Tank shoved him in lockers… I forget who shoved who. Either way, it clearly wasn’t considered bullying and made each stronger and strive to be greater. Penn Charter makes Alpha’s only… Beta’s can get bent.