Our senior political correspondent Miller informed me this morning that the big news out of DC today was that the Dirty Jerz (home to Water Cooler Sports’ HQ… nbd) won its case in the US Supreme Court that states should be allowed to decide whether sports gambling is legal or not.
Does it really effect me? No. Why? Welp, I suck at gambling and when I do bet, I honestly just expect to lose it all anyway.
The reason I find this really funny is that the people celebrating its legalization are probably going to be the be the ones most effected by it AND eventually the ones to hate it the most.
“Why? How? That makes no sense…”
Well, when something becomes legalized and the government has a clear(er) view into what goes on in the world of gambling, they’re going to get greedy and want their slice.
Let’s take for example Big Fudge. If he bets $100 on the Yankees tomorrow straight up to win at (-118), he’d be set to make $84.74 if the Yanks win. But now if the government is involved, don’t you think they’re going to want their cut?
So instead of that (let’s call it an even) $85, $17 is going to the IRS* and your previous nice payday had a decent chunk taken out of it by Uncle Sam and now all you won is $68… a dollar short of a perfect amount.
Now, I know that there are people who are saying “well I’ll only be writing off losses so it’s actually BETTER for me!” To you people, I say you’re an idiot and a degenerate who needs to stop gambling. If you know you are losing so much money that’s it’s GOOD that gambling is legal now because you can write it off on your taxes as losses – YOU SUCK AT GAMBLING. STOP THROWING MONEY AWAY.
Regardless, for people who don’t gamble for whatever reason – maybe you’re opposed to it, maybe you are like me and don’t care – WHATEVER… This is kinda a big win. Gamblers are the ones who suffer and their tax revenue should be substantial if all the years I’ve heard “gambling is a trillion dollar industry” has any truth to it.
This victory was as huge as the man who brought it to the forefront: infamous NJ governor and former Presidential hopeful Chris Christie!!
Thanks Chris, you probably should’ve been president if Trump didn’t bully you out right off the bat and then the internet did THIS to you:
* = Assuming a 20% tax bracket.