It’s gender revealing season, folks.  I’m sure you’ve seen the videos by now.  Some guy trying to relive his glory days by smashing what I’m assuming is some kind of paper mache ball into a pink or blue explosion.  Well, unfortunately, some of these guys haven’t fared too well.

This is probably the worst one I’ve ever seen for a few reasons.  First, look at Neil’s attire.  You get that shirt in the baseball aisle at Dick’s.  That’s like the combat shit that probably has an MLB logo on it somewhere.  Neil also is sporting the backwards hat and fucking batting gloves.  BATTING GLVOES.  At a goddamn gender reveal.  This guy’s kid is one poor bastard.

Secondly, this is at a field.  This isn’t at the barbecue in the backyard, or with the family on a quiet Sunday night.  This was planned.  You can tell they even practiced with all the balls laying around.  They had probably been planning this day for the last month and Neil fucking BLEW it.  What an idiot.  The only redeeming part of Neil’s performance was the bat flip afterwards.  That was that batflip of guy who just got punched out for the third time against Max Scherzer.  The old “alright fuck this somebody bring me my glove so I can go stand in the field” bat flip.  If I was a betting man, I’d say this wasn’t the first time Neil has made that batflip.

Let’s move onto this one.  A young couple, presumably Cubs fans, doing their gender reveal in the middle of what appears to be Wrigleyville.  Now when I initially say this video, a lot of people were giving the guy shit.  They guy!  Why!?  That toss was over the guy’s fucking head.  He had two choices.  One is to try and swing at a pitch over his goddamn head which becomes more difficult and looks worse, or his other option was to try and catch the ball, toss it back to his dumb wife and make her throw it again.  Well he chose the latter and paid mightily.

I don’t blame him, though, for choosing to try and catch it.  You don’t want to tomahawk a gender reveal.  You want that pitch to be a cock shot.  Belt high, down the middle so you can hit that thing to the moon.  Tomahawks are for unathletic, impatient hitters who get lucky.  I’m sorry, but this fail is entirely on the woman.  Sorry honey, you have to at least get in the zip code of the strike zone.

Nothing, however compares to my favorite baseball themed gender reveal:

I know this is an old one, but it’s great.  This was a fail on a lot of different levels.  Pretty bad swing by the guy.  He finished with his weight on his back leg and didn’t even get his back side through the swing.  Had he done that, he would have sent his wife’s face to the next block.  There is also zero sense of urgency from the guy to check on his wife.  He just strolls over, picks up the ball, checks it, and then says something to her.  Speaking of the wife, great pitch on her part.  Just get in the zone and let your defense do the work.  But when I watch this, I have to ask what the endgame was here?  What type of ball were they using that it wouldn’t explode when it hit the bat OR the face (now that would have been great)?  Like did they just think they could hit any old ball laying around in the garage and God would make the ball secrete blue or pink powder upon impact?  It’s not like he didn’t hit it hard enough.  Sure it was an ugly swing and I don’t have Statcast to back me up, but I’d have to assume the exit velocity was in the area of 98 mph.  That should be enough to break a ball that is created to be broken.

What this all boils down to is that if you are planning on doing a baseball themed gender reveal and you have even the slightest doubt that you will miss the pitch and/or your baby momma will make a shitty pitch, just hit off a tee.