The guys’ headshots for The Bachelorette went up on Facebook aaaaaand out came the trolls!!

I was informed by Nurse Brit that my boy Nick was getting shredded… so I went ahead and checked it out. Let’s go ahead and troll the trolls, shall we?


@Allison Welch – I actually agree with you. @Nick, I know you can pull off MANY different looks (most of which involve low cut v-necks IF a shirt at all), but a quarter zip usually needs a shirt underneath it. But hey, you know what? Let’s let Nick live his life people…

@Allison Hazel Nosacka – I expect, signature track suit or not, to see Nick dominate the Bachelorette party scene starting immediately next Monday. So buckle up for that. However, I haven’t SEEN one of these signature track suits myself. Maybe that’s a post-2010 Nick move, and I gotta say I respect the hell out of it.

@Crystal Jean – With all due respect (basically zero), no to YOU.

@Kelly Valla – At first when I read this I thought this was hilarious but also so fucking brutal… But the more I think about it, everyone LOVES Shrek. PLUS you’re saying Prince Shrek…

prince shrek.png

…not white trash, living in filth Shrek…

shrek in mud

…soooooo, I’m pretty sure the jokes on you girl!


@Sarah Vatnsdal – Well, my first instinct was to post your pics and let the world blast you… But I saw you’re private on Facebook and only have pictures of your cat (which makes sense). THEN I found your Instagram and it features MORE pics of your cat, AND one pic that got two likes of your lowers legs and some “Starry Night” shoes… So I guess I can’t sit here and call YOU ugly since I genuinely don’t know what you look like – but you and your 27 followers can take a hike.

@Tiffany Pruitte – Honestly… anytime someone does the Randy Jackson “that’s a no from me dawg I respect it. It always gets a chuckle from me ten times outta ten. Because of that, we’ll ignore the fact that you had to put the SnapChat bunny ears filter on your profile picture to distract us from your own shortcomings which are likely FAR worse than Nick’s nose.


@Carolyn Mcgee-Olczak – Given your first last name is Mcgee, I’m gonna chalk this up to just you projecting anger that was meant for someone else because your whole childhood the hilarious kids in your class 1,000% called you “Tits McGee” (or something like that). I’m sorry kids are “mean” but you don’t have to pass on my boy just because of them. He’s a good guy.

@Natalia Torres – “Hell no?” WHY? What? What is so wrong “no” wouldn’t have sufficed? Why the “Hell no?“?? Seems a bit harsh… Also, this wasn’t a yes or no question. It was a “Meet the Contestants” type of thing. Maybe you tried to write “Hello” but it auto-corrected. Yeah, that’s probably it.

@Helen Vasalos MacConnell – That’s just factually inaccurate. I checked the dimensions here and AT MOST it takes up 12%. Stop spreading lies… FAKE NEWS!!

Image result for you sit on a throne of lies gif

Nick, the trolls are coming and I’m here to light them all up. I got your back kid, all season long.



Troll Roasting Might be My New Thing,