I got an Alexa dot for Christmas.  Whatever I don’t really use it too much.  It’s funny to say “Alexa, add dogshit to my list” and then hear her say “I’ve added dogshit to your shopping list,” and it’s also useful when I’m sitting on my couch and I’m wondering where a particular athlete went to college, but that’s about it.

The other day I ordered sunglasses off of Amazon.  I came out to my living room to see Alexa was flashing a yellow ring around so naturally I said “Alexa, why are you yellow?”  She responded “You may have noticed my yellow ring” (yeah no shit that’s why I asked) “this means you have a message, to hear messages say ‘Alexa read me my messages.'”

First off, if I have a message, why the hell wouldn’t I want it read.  At the very least, Alexa should say “you have a message, do you want me to read it?”  But no.  This bitch just wants to hear her name said again so she makes you say “Alexa read me my messages.”  Still though, fine.  Whatever.  It’s a machine and in the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal so I say “Alexa, read me my messages.”  And you know what that bitch had the audacity to say?  She said “You have no new messages.”

Okay maybe she didn’t hear me so I again say “Alexa, read me my messages.”  She again says “You have no new messages.”  Then I saw the yellow ring again and said “Alexa, why are you yellow?”  She responds “You may have noticed my yellow ring.  This means you have a message, to hear messages say ‘Alexa read me my messages.'”  You got to be kidding me.  So because I’m a dumbass, I said “Alexa read my my messages.”  She again replies “You have no new messages.”

This back and forth with a dot the size of a tuna can went on for longer than I’d like to admit so I will spare you.  At this moment, as I look over, she is still periodically showing a yellow ring and I am seething.  Updates to follow.

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@WhatAKetchWCS