**Warning – This blog is NSFW as it contains graphic Red Sox porn**
I don’t care who you are or what team you are a fan of, this was an absolutely incredible baseball moment. Mookie Betts came up with the bases loaded and two outs and grinded JA Happ until he finally got the pitch to launch into orbit.
I was actually driving last night during the at-bat and was listening to the game. Obviously it was a pretty big moment in the game. It was a huge opportunity for the Red Sox to tie, or possibly take the lead. They had their best player at the plate. Happ was laboring through four innings. David Price gave up the lead early (again) and the Sox desperately were trying to get the lead and cash in on their tenth straight victory.
Listening on the radio was incredible. Tim Neverett built up every pitch. “Happ deals, delivers” *quick silence, crack of bat* “and another foul ball!” Each time I heard the crack of the bat I thought it was a weak grounder or pop out. Then on pitch number 13, THIRTEEN, Mookie crushed it. I almost drove off the road in excitement and because semen just wouldn’t seem to stop pouring out of my penis to be honest.
Once I got home I watched the video and saw Mookie’s passion, Fenway erupt, and heard Eckersley proclaim “it’s party time!” and I don’t know, man. I just got a great feeling in my penis and about this team.
Junior came over so we could finish recording “Bachelor Night in America” and as we were going over our notes, the broadcast on the Sox game said something along the lines of Mookie’s at-bat being one of the most memorable at-bats of the MLB season and Junior scoffed and rolled his eyes. If you’re a baseball fan and cannot appreciate that at-bat, you have a dump in your pants. I don’t care if you’re a Yankees fan (Junior), you have poop swimming in your pants.
Naturally, when I saw his disrespectful reaction, I asked Junior “what if Aaron Judge battled for twelve pitches and hit a go-ahead grand slam on the thirteenth pitch?” Junior said “Judge wouldn’t need thirteen pitches” and I responded “yeah because he would’ve struck out way before then.” And just to show you I don’t have a big dump in my pants, if Aaron Judge did what Mookie did last night, my reaction would be “goddamnit that was a great at bat.”
But for the Red Sox, this could easily be the moment we look back at after the season as the defining moment. It could be the Vazquez homer last year against the Indians:
The Daniel Nava homer after the Boston Marathon bombings;
Bill Mueller’s walkoff homer against the Yankees in 2004 (this was the A-Rod/Varitek fight game):
Mookie’s at bat, could very well be one of these moments.
I need new pants.