I had to come out of retirement for this one, as there are some things that are just bigger than sports. You know, some things that rattle you to your core. They give you goosebumps, they give you the chills, they make your hair stand on end, and sometimes even fill you with rage and disgust. Today, a story broke that brought out all of those things for me. And, of COURSE that story related to Urban f$&@ing Meyer.

Now, you all may remember that Mr. Meyer and myself have always had problems, and that I hate the guy and have held a grudge ever since December of 2004 when a young Urban turned down the Notre Dame job to bring his services to Gainesville, FL (a mosquito-infested swamp that nobody would ever want to send their children to). Did I hate that decision because Urban turned down Notre Dame and broke brother Taylor’s heart? HELL NO. I hated it because he would forever be tied to the gators and because of the success that he would bring.

Listen, I’m not a hater by any means. Nothing can take away the success that Meyer has had throughout his stellar coaching career. I mean look at his time at UF alone, he compiled a 65-15 record, won two national championships, and helped coach a quarterback (who only threw knuckleballs) to win the Heisman trophy award (you still suck Tebow). From there, Urban faked a heart attack and left for cover to get away from Big Dick Nick Saban, and fled to the Big Ten and Ohio State. At Ohio State, Urban has also done extremely well. He has compiled a record of 73-8, won a national championship, and won two Big Ten titles.

The problem with Urban however, is that while having this success he has preached about doing things the right way, yet has things like this happen under his watch:




Trying to ship off an assistant coach after it surfaces that he beat his pregnant wife for the SECOND time under your watch? Well done, Urban! Such a great and classy guy you are!!!

And for those of you thinking “Oh come on Miller, the guy made one mistake let him off the hook.” My response to you is to look at Urban Meyer’s history of molding young athletes into STELLAR men:

  • Chris Rainey: arrested on a charge of aggravated stalking, a felony
  • Solomon Patton: charged with misdemeanor possession of alcohol by someone under 21.
  • Matt Elam: another charge of possession of alcohol by someone under 21.
  • Frankie Hammond Jr.: DUI
  • Gary Brown: misdemeanor battery after allegedly slapping a woman and scratching someone else at a party.
  • Carlos Dunlap: DUI
  • Janoris Jenkins: resisting arrest after a fight by a Gainesville night club.
  • Marquis Hannah: felony burglary and misdemeanor battery, in the same incident.
  • Carl Johnson: misdemeanor violation of a sexual restraining order.
  • Riley Cooper: misdemeanor of resisting an officer and failure to comply with police and fire department (this is before the whole racial slur incident… what a guy).
  • Cam Newton: felony burglary, larceny, obstruction of justice for allegedly stealing a laptop.
  • Jacques Rickerson: misdemeanor possession of marijuana.
  • Carlos Hyde: named as a person of interest in an assault on a female.
  • Bradley Roby: arrested after a bar fight.
  • Marcus Baugh: underage possession of alcohol and possession of a fake I.D.
  • Tim Gardner: arrested for obstructing official police business.
  • Jake Stoneburner, Jack Mewhort: arrested for urinating in public
  • Storm Klein: domestic battery and assault
  • Bri’Onte Dunn: drug charges

And this list doesn’t even touch AARON HERNANDEZ, the gang affiliated TE who Meyer protected through UF and then MURDERED people while playing for the Patriots. And what about the POUNCEY TWINS?! Oh you know the guys who assaulted a man outside of a Miami night club while wearing their “Free Hernandez” shirts…

Yeah, Urban Meyer is the opposite of a class act, and he should be ashamed of himself. Any other individual who had this record of leadership would be strung up and obliterated by the media, but because Urban wins’ football games it doesn’t matter.

Here is my final take on this scumbag: great coach, horrible person, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he faked another hear attack to get out of this one. Here’s to hoping the rest of the Big Ten figures out how to play football and kicks the shit out of Ohio State this year.