An alleged drunken driver smashed into 36 vehicles on a multi-block tear through New Jersey Wednesday, causing thousands of dollars in damage, before cops found him disoriented on the street he ripped apart, authorities say.

The driver, 22-year-old Miguel Aleman of Union City, was charged with DWI, reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident and other offenses in the 1:30 a.m. parked car-smash spree on Bloomfield Street in Hoboken. – NBC New York


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As someone who used to park his car on this exact street, this story is fucking wild. For those of you who aren’t blessed with knowing Hoboken… The streets for the most part are one-way streets, and TIGHT. Like, sooooooooo fucking tight.

So I can totally see how one drunken driver could accidentally hit a few. But to hit 36 along a stretch of nine blocks? It’s almost just fucking impressive.

The guy had to be doing it on purpose. I mean, at what point after hitting a few cars, are you not just like – “shit, I gotta stop driving, I am FUCKED up“???

To the owners who park on the street – I’m sorry, that sucks. To the 22-year old driver – be better. To everyone unharmed and unaffected by this – thank God it wasn’t us. But also doesn’t his face look like that fucking kid whose face was made internet famous from memes?

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Too Many at Black Bear… Been There Before!!
@WCS_Taylor

 

P.S. The use of the word “alleged” by NBC in their post is too great. Take one look at that guys photo and there is nothing “alleged” about it… And i mean, I say Ray Lewis is an “alleged” murderer all the time (as he was never found guilty, eyes emoji @ Ketch), but this one might be even more outrageous than when I used it! “Alleged” drunken driver… you gotta be fucking kidding me.

P.P.S. They also may want to change the term “smash spree” to anything else. A “smash spree” sounds like stretch in college where you were red hot banging chicks (literally something I’d have no idea about… but I know a guy), not some drunken asshole slamming his car into 36 cars in nine blocks!!