Oh my my, oh hell yes, that wonderful and exuberant time of the year is OFFICIALLY upon us!
You know, that time of year when summer is coming to a close and the perfect weather of fall is beginning to creep in; that time of year when you can be outside for an extended period of time and NOT sweat through every piece of clothing; and of course, that time of year that the greatest sport known to man is back on full display.
That’s right folks, football season is BACK, and more specifically, college football is back. And what comes with the start of the college football season you ask? Simple, Grandpa Corso teaching the gospel to us on gamely Saturday’s, the Dawgs inevitably getting my hopes astronomically high, and my obnoxious predictions as to what we can expect in the year to come (which includes gambling tips you maybe shouldn’t take to heart).
Power 5 Conference Champions:
Honestly, nobody is going to be “shockingly good” this year, as I guarantee no vibrant and new team takes the top spot in their respective conferences.
I know some of you may be thinking I’m crazy for only doing the Power Five conferences and overlooking the little guys like the self-proclaimed “returning National Champion” UCF, but if we’re being honest I couldn’t give two shits about UCF or any other mid-major. They are not making the playoff, so they can kindly piss off and go have fun gunning for a random upset in a Peach Bowl against a team that doesn’t want to be there, just like last year.
SEC Champion: Alabama
Of course I’m going to start with the best damn conference in college football. You know, the one that had TWO teams in the National Championship last year (kind of a big deal…). And you are out of your tree if you think that I’m going to pick against Alabama to win the SEC. It’s not even because I have a lack of faith in Georgia (who will win the East), it’s that Alabama just hasn’t given us any reason to doubt them, and even though Nick Saban can’t just keep “shitting out great players,” the one’s he does shit out, are the best in the country.
They have an incredible defensive front coming back which is anchored by Raekwon Davis, who is a man amongst boys, and also have a BEVY of options on the offensive side, which includes Damien Harris and Najee Harris, the top duo with the same name but no real relation.
The only question mark for this Alabama team is in the secondary, where they have lost a TON of talent to the NFL, but did y’all forget who their coach is?
Oh yeah that’s right, the best damn secondary coach in the world. Saban will have the Tide up to snuff again, and will make sure they are ready to Roll the competition.
ACC Champion: Clemson
As I told you, not many shockers in these predictions, and why should there be? Do y’all not know how many weapons Dabo has to use? He will have the best defense in the ACC BY FAR, and potentially the best in the country. Plus on offensive he’ll have dudes like Travis Etienne carrying the rock and ready to slash through defenses like a hot knife through butter, then will have Kelly Bryant sagging all over the field like the second coming of Deshaun Watson, even though my man Trevor Lawrence may be grabbing the spot soon enough (a GA prospect and a poor man’s Jake Fromm).
You take all of that talent and you mix that with the fact that the ACC will be down this year with Florida State not being ready just yet under Taggart’s rebuild, Miami being way too over-hyped again (sorry CMR, I still love you), and nobody else being relevant (especially not a team in Atlanta), and you get Clemson in a landslide. They will coast through all of this, and it won’t be fair.
B1G Champion: Ohio State
All the scandals and controversy in the world won’t be able to stop Urban Meyer from being at the podium and Ohio State from being re-crowned as the B1G Champions. Listen, I am as appalled as anyone at how Ohio State handled the Zach Smith situation, and how badly Urban botched everything, but this will only help this Ohio State team to bond together better and to overcome the adversity in front of them (adversity being the media rightfully putting the program under a microscope).
Additionally, when you put all that aside, you will realize that Ohio State has actually UPGRADED at quarterback with Haskins being their man in charge. Yeah, I said it. Haskins is better than J.T. Barrett…. I don’t care, it’s the truth. At one point Barrett was great, but by last year he was just piss poor in big games, and potentially cost them some down the stretch. Just watch, Haskins and Ohio State will dominate this year.
Pac-12 Champion: Washington
Now listen, I don’t say this lightly considering I’m a fan of the conference that is known for producing the best defenses, but Washington may have the best defense in the country this year. Washington averaged 6.4 yards per play and 36.2 points per game last fall, and the Huskies return 75 percent of last year’s production.
Additionally, they got Coach Pete at the helm. He is a known winner who has established himself as one of the best coaches in College Football while amassing an all-time record of 129-29 at Boise State and Washington. Coach Pete will have the Huskies raring and ready to go, which should scare every single opponent (after Auburn of course).
Big 12 Champion: Oklahoma
Who’s gonna stop them?! No seriously, who?! Do you honestly think a Texas team with “some” elite players (like Tom Herman said) will have a shot? Hell no.
Do you think that Oklahoma State, a team that has never really won anything meaningful and plays ZERO defense will beat them without a returner in Mason Rudolph? Hell no.
How about West Virginia? A team that also plays ZERO defense and seems to play down to lower competition for half of their games? No shot.
As much as I’d love to see Oklahoma get the absolute piss kicked out of them by every single team mentioned above, it just ain’t gonna happen. Lincoln Riley is too damn smart of a coach on the offensive side, and Kyler Murray is too damn talented. Not to mention the return of Rodney Anderson who runs like he is on a damn mission every time he touches the rock. Mix these skill players and a great coach with the fact that the Big 12 is a garbage conference and you will get another Big 12 champion Oklahoma team.
Well, first we always have to take a look at the odds. You know, you may never know who will peak your interest until it is out there in the open:
- Bryce Love (RB Stanford) — 13/2
- Tua Tagovailoa (QB Alabama) — 15/2
- Jonathan Taylor (RB Wisconsin) — 17/2
- Will Grier (QB West Virginia) — 11/1
- Dwayne Haskins (QB Ohio State) — 11/1
- Trace McSorley (QB Penn State) — 12/1
- Khalil Tate (QB Arizona) — 12/1
- Jake Fromm (QB Georgia) — 15/1
- Trevor Lawrence (QB Clemson) — 16/1
- Kyler Murray (QB Oklahoma) — 20/1
- Shea Patterson (QB Michigan) — 20/1
- Jake Browning (QB Washington) — 25/1
- Jarrett Stidham (QB Auburn) — 25/1
Honestly, I think you are an idiot if you think that anyone in the country will win this award besides Bryce Love, who will undoubtedly have another 2,000-yard season, and will get the award based on the amazing career that he has compiled. THAT SAID, if you want a real value pick I’m going with Jake Browning.
Now hear me out, Jake Browning has thrown for over 60 touchdowns in the past two seasons, and has averaged over 3,000 yards per season despite having a down year (for his standards) last year. He will continue to amass this sort of success, because he is one of the best pocket passers in the country, and will be involved in a scheme that will lead him to success. Additionally, Washington returns Myles Gaskin, a senior tailback who has amassed over 1300 yards in each of his three seasons for the Huskies, and had over 1600 yards and 24 touchdowns last year. Gaskin is a dynamic rusher with incredible speed, and will be sure to keep the defense honest for some great play action threats, thus helping Browning to continue his ability as a next-level talent. Lastly, Browning will have the ability to prove himself early and often on the national stage, and the team is lined up for an incredible amount of success. You give a guy of his stature the opportunity to succeed, and he will not let you down. Because of this, I’m going with Jake Browning for Heisman.
College Football Playoff Picks:
- Ohio State
Should you need any more description on these teams and their stellar ability, just please look above. I know this probably pisses off a lot of people from my native state of Georgia, but here’s the deal, I’m not going to pick against Bama until they give me a reason to, and I don’t think the Committee will go with two SEC teams again, even if it is deserved. Because of this, the top three choices are no-brainers for me. These teams are the cream of the crop and they will rise to the top, no doubt in my mind.
The only tricky spot is at number 4, where I have Washington. My reasoning for this is simple, Washington’s schedule is much better for them to make a push for the playoff, mostly because of that huge Auburn game to kick off the year (which I think they win), and because they play Oklahoma’s best out of conference opponent (UCLA), which helps to cancel it out. Washington has the team to make some noise, and the strength of schedule to make the Committee think twice about leaving them off at the end. Because of this, I like them to squeak by my honorable mention Oklahoma and Georgia.
Alabama over Washington –
Same old song we’ve seen time in and time out, Bama will roll over the Huskies like they have done literally every time they have played and it will be BORING. This is because Alabama will shut the Huskies down on defense and run the same damn “clock management” type of offense that we all dread… awful stuff.
Ohio State over Clemson –
It will be an amazing game, but the Buckeyes will end up eeking out a close one against the Tigers after a stellar performance by Dwayne Haskins. Yeah, I’m big on this kid because he is a damn stud.
CHAMPIONSHIP: Alabama over Ohio State –
Urban and Saban meet again on College Football’s biggest stage, and you can beat your ass there will be replays of the first meeting in the College Football Playoff played over and over and over for that whole week for the Tide players. That kind of motivation will be the difference. Sure, it is two completely different teams at a completely different time in history, but it doesn’t matter. Saban will be relentless in his preparation for this game and he will extract vengeance. Let’s just hope prissy little Urban doesn’t have another “heart attack” this time around.
College football has always been known for zany and over the top antics, with incredible upsets occurring throughout the season, but there will not be too many surprises involving the top teams this year. Sure, you may have Oklahoma State drop one to a later-unranked Texas team, or have an upset of Bama by Ole Miss (not going to happen, but always a chance), but at the end of the day, the cream of the crop will rise to the top, as they always do, and they will dominate. Because of this look for these predictions to come true, and look for Bama to be raising that trophy at the end of the year, thus cementing Saban and the SEC’s dominance.
That ends it for now, be sure to be on the lookout for the weekend preview coming soon. There are some incredible games on this weekend so believe you me, you won’t want to miss it!