I know what you may be thinking, “Taylor, turning a picture black & white, writing a one-liner in the middle and saying ‘Just Do It’ at the bottom isn’t art…” but I’m telling you, you’d be wrong!
We learned at the end of that one Sunny episode (Dee Made a Smut Film) where Frank pretends to be an art critic, that really ANYTHING can be art…
So I say we play “Ongo Gablogian” for a minute and critique my work, shall we? Who knows better the thoughts and feelings of the man behind the work than… well, me – the man behind the work!
First Masterpiece: Urban Meyer.
This was made tastelessly soon after the Ohio State scandal to rile up fellow (former?) WCS writer Slick Willy.
A sloppily done piece, the white font clashes with the bright (pretty much white) background… Not my best, not my best at all.
Final Ongo Gablogian Critique: “TRASH.”
Second Masterpiece: 8.2 Earths.
The story behind this one is rich.
It’s about arguably Water Cooler Sports’ number 1 fan, Mikey Denippleme (seen above). The story here is that back in college he took some sort of science class at Loyola (hah! NERD!) and one assignment was to go to this website and see how many Earth’s it would take to sustain a world FULL of people like you… Basically a hippie liberal way of convincing us we overconsume… SURRRRE!!
Anyway, Mikey here entered his lifestyle into the site and, BOOM: 8.2!!
Evidently he had the highest score in the class! Evidently driving an Escalade and flying places regularly and living life as a true AMERICAN leads to this lib-cuck site telling you you overconsume… To the tune of 8.2 Earths!
This one was one of nostaglia for a great story of a greater man.
Ongo Gablogian Critique: “DERIVATIVE!”
Third Masterpiece: PRIDE.
I mean… PRIDE is really “in” right now, so this one in the real world would probably play.
If only the “Just do it” line at the bottom wasn’t clearly cut straight from the Kaepernick meme (you can see his lips above) then this one would be perfect and an immediate gem in the art world.
Ongo Gablogian Critique: “GAY & YAY!!”
Fourth Masterpiece: Respect Women.
Shockingly my first and fourth memes had NOTHING to do with each other.
You see, here when I said “Respect Women,” it actually had to do with women’s health… By helping take care of their health, we’re respecting them.
One night Benny Ball Game (pictured above) and I got a little #whitegirlwasted and one of the girls we were with was juuling. And while juuling is VERY cool, she admitted she hates it and knows it’s bad for her and wants to stop.
And that’s where Benny and I took the reigns.
WITH HER PERMISSION (of course), we smashed the juul to bits with a hammer and then a meat cleaver. It was hilarious*.
Ongo Gablogian Critique: “Tragic. Wonderful. Moving.”
Fifth Masterpiece: Jersey Shore Taylor.
I mean, again, if some of my masterpieces didn’t have Kaepernick’s they’d be much better off. Instead I see those lips and I just feel uncomfortable…
However, the message behind this is simple and unmistakable: when going out with a button down shirt, just keep unbuttoning – give the people what they want.
**Also, whenever a pair of FIRE sunglasses like those is selling for $11, you pull that trigger ten times out of ten.**
Ongo Gablogian Critique: “HORRIBLE.”
Sixth Masterpiece: #HappilyDinapoli.
I gotta hand it to myself, this was done on the troll to/from (I can’t remember) pictures at Denippleme’s wedding… For such hasty work, it sure made for tastey work (that rhymed, unintentional).
This one gets undeniable bonus points for using the wedding hashtag, and it also should inspire us all.
Ongo Gablogian Critique: “Gives me something to believe in.”
Seventh Masterpiece: Excess.
Really great to see Big Fudge back on WCS!
This piece really was just inspired by how Big Fudge lives his life. Almost everything he ever does in life, is done to the absolute max.
When he sings, it’s LOUD. When he drinks, it’s A LOT. When he… Nope, wait, that’s really all he does, those two things!
This was a personal favorite given the wonderful messaging, and oh yeah, obviously Big Fudge’s glorious flow didn’t hurt.
Ongo Gablogian Critique: “Too sexy… sex-cessive!”
Final Masterpiece: My-Movember-self.
This was my Mona Lisa. Simple. Elegant. Classy. Doesn’t say too much but somehow also says it all. Perfection.
Am I biased because the image is me? Well… yes. But also maybe I just like to kick cancer’s ass and we’re now less than a month away!
The mustache, the changing of Nike to Movember, the delicate change of the word “do” to “grow.” Exquisite.
I almost expect Movember to reach out and give me an offer I can’t refuse to just sit on my couch and make Movember meme’s all day every day.
The ball is in your court @Movember!
Ongo Gablogian Critique: “HIDEOUS. CONCERNING. INSPIRING.”
Am I sitting here saying this art gallery would make me rich? No.
Do I think this is art? Kinda.
But am I saying people would flock to a meme museum? Maybe… After all, it’s 2018. Anything can happen.
Biiiiiiiig Art Guy Now,
* = Actually if you happened to be on Facebook late at night on August 25th, you may have been #witness as I took it live at that moment. Why? I don’t know. Sometimes you just do things and don’t ever know why (it was because I was shitfaced and thought it’d be funny).