Last week, I thought being near some passenger who puked on the train was going to be the most exciting thing that happened during my October commute… BOY HOWDY, WAS I WRONG!!

Last night, I was in the Murphy’s Law of train rides… Last night (hopefully) was the worst commute of my life.

I see the clock hit 5:50 at work and my boss is nowhere to be found which, TRANSLATION, means I am running out the door to potentially get an actual SEAT on the 6:10 train home!!

Oh boy, I’m getting there early…. sitting down on the train ride home!? Won’t THIS be a treat!” my retarded brain thought as I walked to Penn Station.

I notice my train is on Track 1 and as I approach the gate, I see it’s mobbed… “How?! I got here 10 minutes early!” I thought to myself.

I join the ruckus, fight my way down and onto a PACKED train… Like, I am standing AT the door between two cars with myself, a larger black woman (who resembled Dr. Bailey from Grey’s Anatomy) and about 15 other people.

Why is so crowded today?” I wondered. Well – APPARENTLY – the 5:30 train was cancelled, so this train was full of people who already waited 40 minutes for a train… YIKES!!

I remember thinking what a pain in the ass this is – the way we were uncomfortably standing, it was awful – AND WE GOTTA DO THIS FOR AN ENTIRE RIDE HOME. I was standing awkwardly trying to give Dr. Bailey some room but figured I shouldn’t be a big pussy bitch cuz I’ve been sitting on my ass all day.

30 minutes or so into the ride, before we’ve reached Newark, the train stops… STOPS.


OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER: “Hi NJ Transit Customers.¬†The main engine went down, we’re going to have to start our backup diesel engine. We should be out of here shortly.

You hear groans from the masses… Everyone was already pissed the train was so packed, now it’s gonna be longer?? UGHHH…

**Twenty minutes goes by**

OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER: “You’re not going to believe this, but the backup engine needs to be manually started and is located in the back of the train… Our engineer who needs to reach it is in the front of the train. Please be patient. Once we get that started we should be good to go.

The idea of someone walking from the front of the train to the back was bananas. We were all packed in dick-to-ass the whole way, a conductor trying shimmy by would take forever.

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At this point, I’ve been on the train for almost an hour, longer than my entire train ride should be, and we haven’t even gotten to our first stop.

**I’ll be honest, this next hour or so is a blur. But I do know that the backup engine wasn’t working either, so we were told we had to be pushed – PUSHED – by another train.**

At this point, I was just furious at how much NJ Transit sucks and continuously seemed to be topping every failure.


So now we’re waiting on this stopped train, ON A BRIDGE, for another train to come save us. People are freaking out getting claustrophobic. Some claimed they’re running out of air and others were just worried about passing out as it was getting a little hot since the A/C was off and there was NO doors/windows open…

But my favorite part of the whole “being stuck” thing was when this one woman started FREAKING out (I couldn’t see it, I could only hear it) at one of the NJ Transit workers – as if she had ANYTHING to do with this problem – and the cops had to be called.

People were just hot and bothered – literally – and taking it out on everyone around them. Just hearing the fighting was annoying. Society was breaking down and I got to witness it first hand.

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I swear, looking back on it now, I just couldn’t be more thankful having stood next to Dr Bailey and two other people who didn’t say a word… In situations like that, just stfu and let it happen.

Anyway, we finally get pushed to Newark (EL OH FREAKING EL) and we show up to another train, the 6:40 train from Penn Station WAITING FOR US at Newark around 8:30. I guess because our train died, all these poor people had to wait before they got home so that we could hop on their train! We walked on and people were PISSED.

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We were just walking by getting death stares, and who could blame them?! They wanted to go home, and THEIR train was fine…

That’s right THREE – count em… Not one, not two, but THREE HOURS¬†later my train finally arrived where it needed to go.

As I knew that my Murphy’s Law commute still had a quick car-ride home, I fully expected to get to my car and see all four tires flat and maybe the car on fire or something… Lucky for me, I dodged that bullet!

Leaving the office at 5:50, and not getting home until just before 9… SHEESH!!!

Shoutout NJ Transit – you truly continue to outdo yourself!! I just can’t imagine what tonight has in store for me…