I’ve been trying to figure out how to get back in “the game” blogging wise.  I was red hot over the summer, but relocated, started a new job, and moved in with a GIRL so my blogging took a hit.  I tried writing a “Ketching up with Ketch” blog later last week, but I found out it just turned into me cumming my pants to Red Sox highlights.  Then this idea came to me – a live blog during the Giants game tonight.  Considering we have to watch three hours of garbage, maybe I can help make it a bit more enjoyable for you!  So stay tuned!

FIRST QUARTER

10:13 – Thought the game started at 8:25.  Giants already down 3-0.  Shockingly, the Giants get called for a penalty on the kick return.  I truly believe there should be no penalties on kickoffs.  It would made the game amazing.

9:25 – SAQUON BOUNCIN’ AND TROUNCIN’

5:33 – What the hell, Eli?

4:56 – Riley Dixon PINS THEM INSIDE THE 10! LFG BABY

4:03 – Whoa!  Look at that Giants’ defense!  Jackrabbit getting that ass in there.  Hey Nick Mullens, look at your target a little longer you poser.

3:45 – SF GROUNDS CREW FIGURE IT TF OUT.

2:47 – You CANNOT spell “Elite” without ELI.  ELI IS BACK.  Touchdown Giants!!! Up 7-3

2:06 – The thought “You know, 9-7 wins the NFC East” just crept into my head

1:21 – Since that thought, two consecutive first downs….

SECOND QUARTER

14:07 – Really impressed with how this Giants defense has locked down after the score.

13:05 – Aaaaand waddaya fucking know the Niners strike right back as they march downfield with ease to take the lead.  Niners 10 Giants 7.

12:56 – #LegalizingHoldingOnKickoffs

12:20 – The Giants fullback, Penny, has an outrageous spelling for his first name:

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10:53 – 3rd and 9 and you go for a shallow cross on the short side of the field?

8:35 – Did not see the fair catch call and got off my ass and yelled “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

7:32 – What do Saquon Barkley and Ketch have in common?  Three words:  Tree Trunk Quads.

4:46 – Nice pass, Eli.  That’s the shit we like to see.

3:31 – Uhh Booger, keep it in your pants.  Earl Mitchell got put on skates by Barkley and then his own teammate ran into him.

1:54 – Nice fucking play call you idiots.

1:53 – Rosas pile drives it through.  10-10.

0:58 – Jesus, Collins wasn’t even close there!

0:40 – You know what they say; all a prevent defense does is prevent you from winning.

0:02 – Alright way to make the Niners settle for a field goal.  Looked like they were about to march right into the endzone.

THIRD QUARTER

10:35 – The Giants are bad

8:53 – Look at Witten calling the quick screen to Kittle

8:09 – Touchdown Niners.  Nick Mullens is freaking slicing and dicing this defense.  It’s touch to watch

8:01 – Corey Coleman giving us something to cheer about!!! Devin Hester 2.0!

6:36 – OBJ drive me insane but goddamnit is he fun to watch.  Fantastic pass by Eli (the second one), Rosas pile drives the extra point, and just like that the Giants are BACK in this bitch.  20-17.

6:36 – Alright James Bettcher.  Channel your inner Coach Yoast.

5:21 – Booger and Witten are cumming their pants over George Kittle

4:24 – Hey way to make a stand defense!

4:15 – Wheeewwwwww baby he got JACKED UP!!!!!

2:14 – What the hell is wrong with this goddamn field?  Nobody can stay on their fucking feet!! But hey, Rosas pile drives another one through and we are all tied up! 20-20

2:10 – This debate will go on for Barkley’s entire career and I want to go on record saying I 100% agree with Booger.  Take the best player available especially if he’s a potential once in a generation talent.  Just my opinion.

0:12 – I wonder what OBJ would look like if he didn’t have hair like an asshole

FOURTH QUARTER 

14:55 – BJ Goodson owns Nick Mullens’ ass

13:28 – Dangerous pass there, Nicholas.

11:57 – BJ Goodson again haunting Mullens’ nightmares.

10:27 – Ehhhh Eli’s arm strength isn’t quite what it used to be…

9:31 – Yeah we saw that sack coming a mile away.  Credit to the O-line though; they haven’t looked awful tonight.  And “not awful” is a huge step in the right direction.

6:16 – Honestly just put 11 vacuums on the field on 3rd down.  They’ll probably defend better than the Giants D.

4:20 (sweet bro!) – 3rd down conversion again for the Niners

2:58 – Okay 3rd down again.  Let’s see how it goes this time.

2:50 – Holy shit! A stop!!

2:46 – Robbie Gould from Jersey Shore, Pennsylvania hits the field goal to put the Niners back on top 23-20.

2:00 – Let’s see that late game Eli magic baby.  He lives for these moments.

2:00 – It’s okay everyone knows 3rd and 11 is way easier than 3rd and 6

1:45 – Boy between the Giants’ holding and the Niners two pass interference, this is been a really well played drive from both sides…NOT

1:27 – SAQUON IS FAST WOW!  NICE PLAY!!!!

0:53 – NEVER A DOUBT!  9-7 WINS THE NFC EAST.  NICE PASS BETTER CATCH ROSAS PILE DRIVES THE PAT AND NOW THE GMEN ARE UP 27-23

0:32 – Nick Mullens, whatever you do, don’t throw another pick to BJ Goodson

0:01 – How is Goodwin still in the game?  He’s had like 8 concussions.  One second left?  Just one stop.

0:00 – ELI AND THE GIANTS WIN!! 9-7 WINS THE DIVISION!  ONLY FOUR GAMES OUT OF FIRST!

 

 

@WhatAKetchWCS