In a shocking turn of events, Carmelo Anthony didn’t even make it out of the first month of the season with Mike D’Antoni’s Houston Rockets.  I mean seriously, who would have figured that?? It’s not like D’Antoni and Me7o have a history.  And I think we all thought Me7o’s transition to permanent bench/role player would be seamless.  Oh wait, what’s that?  Me7o and D’Antoni actually hate each other?  And Me7o doesn’t want to be a bench player?  No way!

Well the past is the past now and it’s time to look forward.  Where will Carmelo Anthony, one of the most interesting players of the last few years land?  Where will he call home?  Let’s take a look at some potential suitors.

The Philadelphia 76er’s Melo.jpgThey just traded for Jimmy Butler so why not bring in Melo as Butler’s backup?  Jimmy’s had some knee problems in the past and Melo can probably slide right in and make up for Markelle Fultz’s mental incapabilities when it comes to shooting,

and Ben Simmon’s fear of scoring.

SimmonsIf Butler is out, Melo can shoot like 90 times a game and nobody will care.  When Butler is healthy, well, we know how great of a teammate he is so I’m sure he’ll play really well alongside an aging Melo and a bunch of young, raw players.

Washington Wizards

Now I’ll be honest, this is the one I want the most.  Let’s start with a franchise that hasn’t had any kind of team chemistry since before Gilbert Arenas (allegedly) pulled a gun on his teammates in the locker room.

Arenas gun.jpg

Since then, it’s basically been a Shakespearean power struggles between John Wall and Bradley Beal over whose man the Wizards are.  Throw in a 7 foot mental beta and coach/team killer in Dwight Howard and you have a hell of a cocktail of chemistry.  Let’s add Carmelo Anthony in the mix, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.  Or maybe Melo could solve the problem….

One of my buddies told me when he was in college he and his friends would make jungle juice and put in all kinds of shit.  Cheap vodka, cheap rum, crystal light packets – anything.  It always tasted like ass.  Then one night one of the guys added a Colt 45.  On paper, an addition that makes literally no sense and sounds like it would make an already bad drink exponentially worse.  But for whatever reason, between the carbonation and the malt liquor, it made their jungle juice amazing.  Maybe Melo is the Colt 45 that the Wizards need.

Cleveland Cavaliers 

Carmelo-Anthony-Cavs.pngHey, Melo has been connected to the Cavs for YEARS.  Is Melo the guy that could turn the Cavs around this season?  No probably not.  And sure, Melo was really only linked to the Cavs because he desperately has just wanted LeBron’s approval, but the color scheme does fit him well.

Los Angeles Lakersmelo lakers.jpgFinally, Melo will get his dad, LeBron’s approval.  This is going to be a lost season for LeBron anyways, so you might as well let Melo play.  Plus, Melo, Beasley, Rondo, LaVar Ball, LeBron, Lance Stephenson?  Yes please.

Golden State Warriors

Melo warriors.jpgFor a guy that probably is going into the Twilight of his career, he’s probably starting to get a liitttttle bit desperate for that elusive ring.  Maybe he swallows his pride, plays 15 minutes a night, and gets his championship.

OR

Did Kevin Durant and Draymond Green not just have a bit of a falling out?  Is there possibly some bad blood in Golden State right now?  Draymond, a home grown player will probably have the backing of Steph, Klay, and the ownership.  Maybe the Warriors decide to part ways with Durant.  They decide he’s blowing up the chemistry of the original Warriors.  Only problem is that now you have a hole at small forward.  Enter Carmelo Anthony.

Miami Heat

Melo HeatDwayne Wade has already come to his defense for some reason and I feel like Melo might say to himself “If I can’t play with LeBron, I might as well play with D-Wade.”

Zhejiang Lions

Lions

Look, if Jimmer Ferdette can average 45 points per game and drop 70 multiple times and Stephon Marbury can get a museum and a goddamn musical written about him because of his Chinese Basketball career, I think it’s safe to say Melo would fare pretty well in China.  If Marbury is seen is a God, Melo would be seen as the Emperor of all Gods.  Conservatively speaking, I think Melo would average 65 points a game in China.  Honestly, this is really not a bad decision.  If Melo decides to go to China, I don’t think anyone would blame him.

My vote is for China….or the Wizards.

 

@WhatAKetchWCS