Does this mean I am watching The Bachelor instead of the CFB National Championship? No. But it does mean I am flipping back and forth… PLUS, who cares? Notre Dame is out.
Let’s get to it, as I see them, I’ll update the blog. Tapping into the Live Blog idea that Ketch initiated a few weeks ago.
CASSIE. Wow. Ok. Great butterfly play!
HANNAH B. ROLL DAMN TIDE. #RollTide. Holy babe at the mansion!
HEATHER. Holy moly. Heart eyes emoji. Never been kissed is odd.
JRJELGLTLEHDU. Weirdo. Self proclaimed “a lot to handle.” PASS. Her line at the end when meeting Colton, “I’m Tazjuan for you” was FIRE though!!
NICOLE. Spanish babe. And I mean BABE.
KIRPA. DID THEY THROW A GO PRO IN SOMEONE’S FUCKING MOUTH?! Oh, Kirpa? She’s hot.
DEMI. Ripping it on a quad?! Let’s gooooooo!!! Mommy is in prison? She’s got badass in her blood.
(NOTE: WHY DID THEY TAKE 30 MINUTES OFF TO SHOW US NONSENSE AND BACHELOR ALUMNI??? GET TO THE SHOW!!!)
(ANOTHER NOTE: AND THAT GUY’S PROPOSAL!!! @ABC GET IT TOGETHER!!!)
TAYSHAUN. Better first impression than Demi ripping his ass wide open. Dare I say… “Dark horse“?!
SYNDEY. Dancer? Stripper? Who knows!
ELYSE. Why does she look 40?!
CAITLIN. YIKES. Popping his cherry night one was aggressive.
COURTNEY. Georgia peach move is memorable. Not bad.
KATIE. Magic? Hah – NERD!!
SLOTH ALEX B. Sloth?! WTF!!! Pick up the pace! The producers decided to waste a whole hour on nothing earlier!!
ONYEKA. She called Colton a snack
ERIKA. So many nut jokes I wanna make. She’s a BABE!!!
TRACY. Rolling up in a cop car is wild. Bringing cuffs to give to a virgin is AGGRESSIVE AND COLTON PLAYED INTO IT!!
ANGELIQUE AND DEVIN. Nah, both nah.
REVIAN. A blonde asian, that is rare!
NINA. Croatian with LARGE br…ains!! LARGE BRAINS because she knows multiple languages.
ALEX B. Speechless. No literally, she didn’t even speak.
BRI. FIREEEEEEEEEE!!!! She needs to win.
LAURA. Accountant! Go nerds like me!!
HANNAH G. Oh my God. WCS follows this girl on Instagram before and the gift of nothing (aka Colton’s underwear) was golden. Fuck yeah Hannah G!!
ANNIE. Knows football – nice!
JANE. Photoshopping shit on night one is electric. This was genius.
CATHERINE. Your dog sucks and you look like the older women from Legally Blonde. That was NOT a compliment!
ERIN. Cinderella. Holy shit, pulled it off WITH the missing slipper shit? Colton, marry her right now.
Boom! All thirty! Also, this was my first live blog. I don’t hate it… Might keep this going weekly if we got traffic (so go ahead and click the home page, then back to this, then back to the home page like 10 times so we get more traffic!).