I’ll be perfectly honest with you, the Bama-Clemson game was a snoozefest for me (especially for someone who just had his heart ripped out, stomped on and then eaten by Clemson a week earlier), so watching
the premiere of the a show that is only reason our website has traffic lately The Bachelor wasn’t so bad.
And for the most part of the three hour long premiere* Colton seemed to be making good decisions.
He gave the first impression rose to Hannah G – who is an absolute knockout and deserves all the shine in the world. I’m not joking, I think she’s the prettiest girl in world, nay, galaxy, NAY, UNIVERSE… Okay, maybe not the universe. But she’s a babe.
He kept around Miss Alabama, another Hannah (Hannah B) who, the more I saw on Instagram throughout the night, I realized she watched the CFB National Championship, and NOT The Bachelor so much. While I watched The Bachelor. Let that sink in.
And he kept Bri, the girl who used a fake Australian accent right out of the limo in one of the greatest moves I’ve ever seen.
But what I am here to do is shred Colton for his egregious decision at the end of the show to keep around Catherine…
I mean, this chick (A) looks like a 45-year old with HEAVY plastic surgery, (B) brought her 5-pound
cat dog to the show and then seemingly just dumped it on Chris Harrison and (C) stole Colton like FIVE TIMES from the other girls and seems to just be clueless that it was a rude move.
I just know she’s gonna be a nightmare all season and I’m going to hate her.
Luckily, it appears I am not alone. I give you, “The Best of Twitter Hates Colton’s Final Rose to Catherine” Twitter!!
me: *has watched every season and knows very well that the annoying people always stick around*
colton: *gives Catherine the final rose of the night*
me: #TheBachelor #Colton pic.twitter.com/WHjaoO3cKu
— All Things Bachelor (@TheBacheloret12) January 8, 2019
Colton Underwood giving the last rose to Catherine pic.twitter.com/658fnz1bHa
— 𝓢𝓪𝓿 (@savannahremkus) January 8, 2019
— macy ✰ hall (@maacyhall) January 8, 2019
Colton: “I don’t want to keep Catherine. I’m here to find a wife.”
ABC: “GIVE CATHERINE A ROSE FOR RATINGS.”
Colton: “….but w—-”
ABC: “WE WANT DRAMA.”
— christian mingle 🇨🇩 (@afrococos) January 8, 2019
— Megan (@megannklein) January 8, 2019
When Colton gives the final rose to Catherine pic.twitter.com/R6NXGY0j9x
— shontae🌟 (@taenielson) January 8, 2019
My face when Colton gave his last rose to Catherine pic.twitter.com/8tYfBegOPp
— jordan (@jordanallenn_) January 8, 2019
— Catherine Morse (@catherineamorse) January 8, 2019
Alsooooo…Catherine or Jennifer Coolidge? pic.twitter.com/vssYj54hRs
— bekah martinez ♡ (@whats_ur_sign_) January 8, 2019
Twitter Remains Ruthlessly Undefeated,
P.S. Other notables I was happy to see get a rose and stick around a bit longer… Demi, Annie, Cassie, Caitlin, Erika, Heather, Kirpa and Nicole. This season is LOADED with talent. And ya know what? Good for Colton!!
P.P.S. This tweet stinks, but this is EXACTLY what I think of when I look at this chick…
— Ann Marie Pincivero (@ampincivero) January 8, 2019
* = Less than one and a half of which was the actual show… The rest was montages of Chris Harrison over the years and random “Live feeds” of former contestants of the show hosting viewing parties… Literally some of the least watchable stuff I’ve seen in a while.