***SPOILERS***

The newest Netflix craze among women is this show called “You.”  In a nutshell, it’s about this weirdo creep that dates and stalks this annoying chick.  The show was produced by the Lifetime Network, so that should tell you just about all you need to know about how the show is going to go.

My lady wanted to watch it so I naturally pulled out my laptop and started watching a game while she watched the show on the big TV.  Now I’ll admit that “You” kind of has that x-factor that a Law and Order SVU has where it’s not something that normally would interest with you, but it kind of pulls you in a little.  It’s a pretty fast moving show and there’s a lot going on so I will say if you’re stuck watching a show with the woman, this probably isn’t the worst option.  Basically, it’s not one of those shows where people tell you “oh you just have to get through the first few episodes”; it gets going right away which is nice.

Now the show itself is fucking stupid though.  And by that I mean I hated every single person on that show.  I don’t know if there has ever been a cast of characters where literally none of them have a redeeming quality.  Every single character sucked and I found myself by the end wishing that everyone was killed.  Don’t get me wrong, the acting was good, but the characters were all either creepy, whiny, gross, annoying, or a combination of all three.

First you got this asshole Joe who becomes wildly obsessed with this frump of a girl Beck.  Let’s start with Beck.  beck.jpgBeck is of course a failing writer trying to “make it” in the big city looking for that big break.  Of course she has her chances, but something always seems to get in the way.  Everything is the end of the goddamn world to her and she always finds herself in the middle of something.  She’s crying for about 70% of the show, has no blinds on her first floor apartment so people can look right in as she’s having sex and/or masturbating, and predictably dies at the end.  She reminds me of another annoying character that a show’s production attempted to pass off as a heroine.marissa cooper.jpgNow Beck wasn’t quite as shitty as Marissa Cooper from The OC, but holy shit were there some similarities.  Now onto who I guess would be the protagonist, Joe.Joe you.jpgIf Dennis Reynolds was actually a serial stalker and killer, it would be this guy.  This guy fucking sucks.  He acts so haughty and then, like Beck, interjects himself into everything.  He stalks Beck, watches her get drunk, steals her phone and somehow hacks it so that when she gets her new phone, he can actually see her conversations on the old one.  I don’t know how that works.  That’s for a “Ketch Figures It Out” on another day.  He then plays her, seduces her and gets her to date him in a way that Dennis Reynolds himself would be proud of.

The one thing I will say that IS interesting is that the show tells the story from his perspective.  He is narrating as he’s being a weirdo creep and killing people.  He also has this weird glass cage in the basement of his book store that he has killed multiple people in and was jacking off ON THE STREET in the first episode as he watched Beck pleasure herself through her windows that don’t have blinds.  Next up, is Paco and his fucked up family.paco.jpgCute kid right?  WRONG.  This kid might as well be Marisa Cooper’s son.  The drama that follows this kid around is unreal.  It’s like suck it up kid.  Life is hard, we get it.  His mom is dating some guy who is a parole officer, but also is in the Mob(?), and oh by the way, she’s a drug addict and OD’s (sidenote: there were a LOT of drugs being used very casually in this series.  Maybe I’m just not “cool” because I don’t live in a big city, but is that accurate?  Does everyone do heroin and painkillers* casually and recreationally in cities?) . Paco tries to steal a gun to I guess kill the Mob guy (granted the Mob guy is a dickhead and beats Paco’s mom), and then when that doesn’t work, he hits him with a baseball bat (with horrible form, might I add), runs away, and weirdo Joe comes out of nowhere and stabs the Mob guy.  The only other main-ish character would be Peach.  peach

Alright so I guess I lied when I said I hated every character, because I did NOT hate Peach (played by Shay Mitchell).  Absolute smokeshow.shayshay2shay3shay4shay5shay6shay7

What was I talking about again?  Oh right.  Peach is the only one with a brain in the whole show as she sees through Joe’s bullshit.  Granted she’s a little fucked up too, and is kind of a bitch, but she is the closest we get to someone outing Joe for the creep he is.  Unfortunately she dies at the hands of Joe too.  BUT we do get a scene where she kisses Beck.

nice.gifJohn Stamos is also in it as he plays a psychologist that bangs Beck as well.  But other than that, that’s basically the show!  I mean it really wasn’t bad.  It was more frustrating than anything.  And annoying because of all the whining.  So fellas, what it comes down to is if you’re stuck watching this show with the lady, just remember, Shay Mitchell is scorching hot, and there is a lesbian kiss at some point.   Hope that helps.

@WhatAKetchWCS