A few weeks ago, my mom told us she was having a procedure.  It was just a routine procedure that anyone over 55 gets and it involves cleaning out the colon.  Now before you start thinking something actually serious happened, let me clear things up and tell you that my mom is doing fine.  She is a very nervous woman, God bless her soul, and was quite anxious going into this procedure.  My sister and Dad and I assured her she’d be fine, but she was still understandably scared.

At about noon today, my dad texted my sister and I in a group simply saying “Mom is out, squeaky clean and doing great!”  A bit too much detail with the “squeaky clean” addition considering he was using the term to describe the state of my mother’s asshole, but nonetheless a fair text.  And then it happened.

About a minute later, my dad sent a picture.  What was the picture, you might ask?  It was eight individual pictures of the inside of my mother’s now cleaned colon.  It took me a second to realize what I was looking at, but when it hit me, it hit me very hard.

Why?  Why did my dad feel the need to do that?  We asked my dad why.  He said he meant to send a picture of my mom, which, okay.  But the question still remains; WHY IS THE BRADY BUNCH PICTURE OF THE COLONS EVEN ON HIS PHONE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

I am scarred.  I will never EVER get over that.  I deleted the text thread.  I don’t know if I’ve ever deleted a text thread, but I did today.  No child should ever have to see that.  The end.