By popular demand, I decided to release some preseason rankings as we head toward BeerFest X: The Finale.
Now, if you know me, you’d know I historically have hated doing these because it could discourage some people and get them thinking “Damn, nobody believes in me or my chance to win… I’m sad…” and the next thing you know:
…But you know what? When the people are asking for something, ya gotta deliver!! So without beating around the bush any more, the preseason rankings for 2019!!
#1 UNITED STATES (+$400). You are absolutely insane if you thought Vegas wasn’t giving America the #1 seed! Of course they were. Two Taylor’s on the team who are still hungry for their first title?! That’s a recipe for success. Add to that the fact that half this team is playing for their kids (hilarious)?! Unreal. Vegas is giving a one in four chance the home team takes the title… Even though literally YEAR-AFTER-YEAR America has let us down…
#2 IVORY COAST (+$405). How is last year’s returning champ not the #1 seed with the best odds? Simple. Don’t return the ROCK of your team*!! These guys are extreme talents no doubt, but a #1 seed has to be polished top to bottom and right now, we don’t know if Ivory Coast really has that power bottom you need.
#3 ROCK NATION (+$855). If Vegas made odds based on heart and will to win, Rock Nation would be a (-$10,000), but that isn’t the case. The reason they are so high is that every year they returned have from a “down year” (which DEFINITELY was 2018), they went all the way to Daas Boot. I’ll follow that trend as a degenerate gambler and take my odds that ONCE they reach the boot, they can finally finish. THIRD TIMES THE CHARM!!
#4 GARDEN CITY (+$1,001). Wow. The fourth best odds going to the Hosford brothers could be seen as aggressive, but I know these guys and their fun-time activity is slugging beers. I’m not going to even pretend they aren’t a serious contender. Can they game it all day? Can Owen hit his stride in his sophomore year? Can Sexton become even MORE of a legend? April 13th we’ll all find out.
#5 PRUSSIA (+$1,150). Cam & Black Rob have already done it once. I am fairly confident they can do it again, but half their team right now is question marks. Depending on who they fill out their teams with could make or break their chance at becoming champions once again!
#6 BERMUDA (+$1,300). Truth be told, EmJemXOXO is the one who asked for some Vegas odds on the big day… But when the odds she threw out for her own team were +$6,000?? YIKES. This could be seen two ways – she’s trying to move the line so it’s more profitable when she wins, OR she has no confidence in their abilities. I choose to believe the first one. EmJem & Z are going to be a serious contender at The Finale. Keep an eye out for Beermuda!
#7 CANADA (+$2,132). The seventh best odds is going to our neighbors up north, and truthfully, this could be seen as a bit harsh. Such marquee names as Tommy Ryan and Alex “The Wizard of 2013” Vernetti should have better odds, right? Well, my contacts in Vegas told me after they cut Alison Haynes (#LeMoyneRumors), they just couldn’t get better odds with swirling question marks as to who is on their roster! Maybe a nice play here with high upside if you have some extra change in your pocket to throw down.
#8 WALES (+$2,710). Fan favorites, NO DOUBT, but you can’t ignore history… Wales lost to Ireland one year and Vegas got burned. They’re not going to give a team, who could easily be a Top 5 team, GREAT odds. But #8 is pretty generous and again here, could be a nice way to make a pretty penny.
#9 MADAGASCAR (+$3,717). Okay, this may seem crazy but I think Vegas knows what they’re doing here. Hear me out… Madagascar can easily win all the games – they’ve done it before! So that part they have good odds at taking care of business at, but once they reach Daas Boot, they’ll need some help. They need to hope that they go up against a team that can’t be able to just SLUG beers… Aka, they need some help! I think this could totally happen but things definitely have to go their way.
#10 VATICAN CITY (+$14,493). As well as they did last year carrying (then) Team Madagascar, I think Vegas remembers that Howey has had a ROUGH history of BeerFest. And, listen, I love Howey, but he’s going to need the BeerFest gods to change their favor and give him a break in order for things to go his way. Vatican City cracking the Top 10 in best odds, beating out 6 other teams, is nuts! But their performance in 2018 certainly earned them that right.
THE FIELD (+$25,641). The remainder of the field includes IRELAND, who is a perennial upset team and while I think they’ll steal a few W’s from some big names, their road to a title could be rough. ZIMBABWE, while they will be everyone’s favorite team to root for, would be about a (+$1,000,000) to advance past quarters alone based on last year, so that’s not helping tip the odds to the field either. However teams like GERMANY (AKA TEAM BAE) and an couple teams from Essex Fells could end up being surprises. Germany has played at BeerFest before, so they have experience, and they are the sole reason Mully’s is still in business (aka they can drink like fish). While the Essex Fells teams could give us a surprise contender like last year’s Switzerland, who aren’t coming back this year despite ending up just 3 seconds shy of a title (bumping the field’s odds up immensely).
And there you have it – the official Vegas** odds as of March 28!!
Will Vegas take everyone’s money? Will “The Field” prevail? Will I someone record a similar video of Howey?
In 16 days, we’ll have our answers…
* = A joke that NOBODY will understand. Cody Russo – the one player missing from last year’s championship team – is a geologist. Get it? He’s their ROCK? Nailed it…
** = By “Vegas” I mean NOT Vegas… Unless someone is willing to bankroll these odds, WHICH would be a real shame if someone decided to do… a REAL shame!!